Class of 2004. 

Here's Cecilia and Lewis, two of my best mates! 

Kelv, my pillar of support. 

Finally, a pic of us all together, ... after all the photo-taking :) 

My graduation

It's finally over, another chapter of my life. It's like a dream, I received my degree on 25 October 04!!
Kelv took some pics of me and my mom and my fellow classmates. Will put up the pics later tonight if I have time. Just wanted to let everyone out there know that I've finally got it :)

Long time no blog..

In case you've missed me... I have been super busy adjusting to work.. gone on a short holiday to Penang and Langkawi and then back to work again. It's been tough for both me and Sam as he had to attend playschool and took about 3 weeks to adjust. I, on the other hand, had to adjust on how to be apart from him for about 9 hours everyday.

Work... Work is pretty stressful especially when I've had to take over and clean up someone else's mess. Months of cleaning up to do! No proper hand-over of work as the lady I took over from left on 1 day's notice. Sigh.. very hard. I hope that things will get better once I straightened everything out, giving myself a couple of months more to get everything to tip top shape.

My graduation is on 25 October 04 at 7 pm at Raffles City Convention Centre. I just cannot wait.. hope it will be fun, after all it is my special day :) More blog more on this later.

Here's Sam with his 'EE' Ama. 'EE' is what kids call their aunties as a sign of respect. My sis came for a short visit and Sam really bonded with her. He was so sad that she had to go back and kept asking for her long after she had left Singapore. He'll ask 'mommy, where's EE?' every other day and I'd have to remind him that she's gone back home and will visit us soon... I hope. Ama is always so busy. 

Here's the local mint plant, if you have a cough and want to get rid of it in a jiff, just boil the leaves in water and drink it up. Works like a charm.

This beautiful plant is the curry plant. The leaves are used in curry dishes where they lend their wonderful curry aroma to the whatever dish is being cooked, and they are really high in iron too!

This is my chilli plant. It's actually the smaller but more potent version of the normal chilli. Locals call it 'chilli padi', one bite of this is enough to blow you away! Seriously! 

Have I mentioned my little garden, actually there's not much space for a garden when you're living in a flat but I've dedicated a little corner in my kitchen for some plants. Here's my aloevera plant, as you can see they're all growing sideways trying to get to the window so that they can get the sunlight. 

Nervousness..

Now that I've signed the employment letter, I'm feeling a little nervous. A lot of 'what if's have popped into my head, like... what if I miss Sam too terribly, what if I cannot adjust going back to work, what if I find out that I don't like to work anymore after nearly 2 years of not working? I'm petrified and I think I've just scared myself again...

JOB!

I was offered a job today, remember the interview I went to last Friday, yup, got it! Finally, yippee.....

providing for someone

How do you provide for someone when you don't have a job? I feel so helpless, almost useless, for not being able to secure a job. I think I will go mad soon thinking about this. The past months have been stressful on me as I started to look around for a job and found that most companies would not hire a mom with a young child just because they think that we 'would not be commited enough to the company'. Now where in the world do they get ideas like that? If any, we'd be most stable and committed to the job as that would be our source of income - our avenue for a better life for our child(ren). Sigh... just needed to get things off my chest.

my aspirations..

I went for a job interview last Friday and I was asked to write about myself and my aspirations. The part on myself was easy, but my aspirations, now that really made me think! I mean, what did I want to do in life? It was easier when I was younger, I can still remember.

At 12, I wanted to be a stewardess so that I can get to travel to all the different countries and still get paid doing it!
At 16, I wanted to be a lawyer coz I always wanted to win in all my quarrels with my sister!
At 18, when I started work with nothing more than an O level certificate to my name, all I wanted to be was RESPECTED.
At 21, I couldn't care less what I wanted to be, I was just happy to be me and spending my time with my friends.
At 25, I just wanted to get my degree!

Now at 32 with a degree and a son in hand, I just don't know what it is that I want... well, actually, I guess I do know, I just want to be a good mother to Sam, I want to be able to spend time with him, be a friend for him when he needs one, a shoulder for him when he cries and at the same time just be a mom for him when he needs love, support and understanding. My mother is the best role model, always there for us when we needed her and always putting our needs before hers. I know what I want to be, I want to be just like my mother!

Playschool

Today was Sam's 4th day in his playgroup at the YWCA centre. The experience hasn't been all too good. There are 3 big bullies there who go around slapping, pushing and hitting smaller kids. The teachers seem oblivious to this fact - why? I have no idea. They even insist that one of the bullies (I pointed them out to the teachers, okay, so I'm a teetoteller, who's not!) won't do such things!! Even when it happened in front of them they seem to not 'see' it. How is this possible? Are they so tired of their jobs that they just don't care anymore?

I've decided to just endure the next week since we had to pay for 2 weeks in advance (even though these 2 weeks was supposed to be a trial period!!). I'm gonna be the typical 'pain-in-the-ass' parent who will sit there until Sam's 3 hours is up daily. I'm only doing it because I have no confidence in the teachers, they just ignore the crying children (who are missing their mommies) and focus on the other kids. Somehow, I think that they are -sadly, going about it the wrong way, ignoring the kid will just make him feel moer insecure and unwanted thus the feeling of wanting to go home to mommy is intensified and he will take longer to adjust to the environment. These people don't seem to have a clue about these things, maybe they should take Psychology 101.

Sam says that he doesn't want to go to school because "So scared. Children hit Sam" and "People disturb Sam", those are his own words, from the mouth of a babe! Am I being paranoid here?

my 'little' man

I took a fall early this evening while preparing Sam's bath. I slipped as I stepped out of the bathroom and fell, hitting my arm against the corner of the metal doorframe, ouch! Sam saw the fall and had a concerned look on his face, imagine that. This was the conversation that took place after the fall.

Sam: Is it hot mommy? (Sam associates hot with pain)
Me: No darling, it's just very painful. (sitting on the floor)
Sam: Sammy kiss mommy?
Me: Okay.. (still sitting on the floor)

Sam walks over, steps out of the bathroom carefully and kissed me on my cheeks.

He sees me rubbing my arm and says, "Sam kiss mommy's hand 'k?"
Me: Okay..

Very gently he kisses me on my arm. That's Sam, my little man, so young and so loving.

Sam's developments

Have I mentioned that Sam is speaking in sentences already? His tenses and grammar are coming along really well too. We're so proud of his accomplishment.

At 18 months, he said his longest, almost perfect, sentence comparing the neighbour's clothes with ours, "Aunty hang clothes, mommy hang clothes also. Mommy hang daddy's clothes." He's also so aware of his surroundings, well, maybe I don't have much experience with babies before and so I'm not sure of their level of awareness but what I do know is that Sam will constantly share what he feels, hears and smells with me and it's such a joy to be able to share it with him.

When he catches a smell from the neighbour's cooking he will tell me "Smell mommy, somebody's cooking." and when he hears sounds from the cars or motorbike downstairs, he says, "Sound from motorbike/car, so noisy." But what is even more amazing to me is when he asks me to be careful in his most concern voice when I drive or go down a ramp into the basement of a carpark. He'd normally say "Be careful mommy" or if there are people crossing the road while I'm trying to park, he'd go "Be careful (of) man, mommy." Isn't that just so adorable??

I think I'm the luckiest mom and Sam, the most lovable baby on this planet.

weirdness..

Had lunch with my mil yesterday and she was mentioning about my how sis-in-law’s baby is a ‘healing crystal baby’ sent to ‘bring the family together’… errr where do people get these ideas anyway? I mean seriously, really, seriously! Out of curiosity I searched the web for more info on these ‘crystal children’ that’s she’s been talking about and what I read really scares me. I mean, where do these people get their research from anyway? Do they just go to bed and get up the next day and feel that they could write these things and get away with it? Well, obviously they could and did, with quite a few people ‘buying’ into their ideas. I guess only those really lonely ones or those feeling hopeless would buy into this, no sane person would believe such nonsense.

Here's Sam learning how to handle a knife. We bought him a wooden knife with some wooden foodstuff so that he could practise on them ;) 

Sam had lots of fun here splashing water everywhere and getting wet. The editing of these three pictures didn't turn out as well as I wanted it to be but I guess it will do for now until I improve my skills.... 

Birthdays..

Last weekend my in-laws celebrated another birthday in the family, it was my husband's niece's birthday. The celebration reminded me of my birthday just a couple of months back... which they did not celebrate. My in-laws celebrate everybody's birthdays including their family members' spouses birthdays, all but mine. Was it just an unintentional 'forgotten' date or was it deliberately forgotten. I don't think I will know for sure but I do know that even if they had indeed forgotten about it during the day itself, they could have celebrated it during the weekend immediately after my big day. Well, guess I do know the answer after all. Great way to make someone feel unwelcomed to the family.

Visit to the Singapore Zoo

Here's Sam with the dugong miniatures (manatees to those unfamiliar with the local name of this beautiful creature). 

Taken at the Singapore Zoo, Sam's a little tired from all the walking .. 

Sam has this 'deep-in-thought' look in this shot (taken in mid July 04).  I can't remember what was going on around him then, but I know I just love this shot! 

House

Saw a house for sale yesterday. Viewed it, really liked it... but couldn't afford the 10 per cent deposit that we had to put on the house! So sad. Feeling really down now.

Equal Employment Opportunity

Let's talk about EEO, or if you are a resident of Singapore, let's not talk about EEO. Nobody's ever 'heard' of it here, especially not the employers when conducting interviews of potential employees. They go to the extent of asking how many children you have, your arrangement for their care and if you'd be committed enough to the company ie. to be at their call 24/7 if need be.

It's ridiculous, I know, but that's the situation here in Singapore, the manpower ministry doesn't seem to want to do anything about it either. I know that Singapore is trade-dependent and all but to sacrifice the residents' rights and needs is not a smart move, especially since no residents equals no country!

Just had to get this off my chest, having a hard time looking for a job when every potential employer asks me to decide where my priority lies - with the company or family. Duh! What do they think? They'd only be morons if they actually believe someone who tells them what they want to hear.

Instead of looking at the positive side of employing a married woman with a kid, they harp on the negative side which is only one point, mind you and that is her inability to stay late in the office everyday. Don't they know that an efficient worker does NOT need to stay late everyday! Haven't they heard of flexible work hours!!  Think of all the positive point we married woman have: we have stability - we are definitely not about to job hop to the highest bidder in a second unlike someone with no commitments and nothing to tie her down.   We are mature, responsible, dependable, all traits of a good mother too!

No wonder the Singapore birth rate is declining really fast, after experiencing what I experienced, nobody would want to get another kid!

He just loves cars!! 

Left out this really cute pic of Sam on his Godpa. Caught this while they were snoozing after a very long day at the beach. Aren't they adorable! 

Sam's latest past-time, clipping his daddy! He's so cute while he's doing this and believe me, he can do this all night!! 

Owl Sam 

Building sandcastles

At the beach. 
 
Sam had a wonderful time on the beach building sandcastles .. with a little help from mommy :).  But I think he was just happy to get his hands dirty.  He loved the sand so much that we had to practically pull him away from his works of arts when it was time to go.  Kelv's twin came back from Hong Kong on the weekend of June 18, that's why we were out at the beach just a few days before my exams!!  But since she doesn't come back very often and it was a family reunion, my presence was required.  The picnic cum BBQ turned out pretty well, no fights in between, luckily.  The kids all enjoyed themselves, including the two babies.

Hello everyone 

Barney's Asian Tour

Barney in Singapore! 

Barney and gang was in Singapore for the premier of Barney's Big Surprise from June 16 - 30. This purple dinosaur was such a hit that about 2000+ children + parents were at the airport welcoming him. Since Sam loves Barney a WHOLE lot, we were at the airport too, 1 1/2 hours early just so we could get a good spot to 'welcome' him. Sam was dissapointed that Barney did not come to shake his hands tho'.

The tickets to the show was gone almost as soon as they were released! All good seats were snapped up within hours and silly me who was trying to book them online was left with only cheap seats which were quite far away from the stage. The SISTIC website where they were being sold could not take the sudden flood of parents all trying to buy the tickets online at the same time (which caused the system to crash). Phone booking was another joke, don't bother cause you won't get through. Lesson learnt, never buy tickets online or thru phone booking if you seriously want good seats!

I managed to get tickets only after I decided to pack Sam and get out of the house (in the rain!!) and queue at the SISTIC counter. I queued for nearly two hours just to get tickets to see a dinosaur sing! Sam had better appreciate this when he's older!
 
Anyway, the Barney's Big Surprise was a BIG surprise alright, not a single kid was in sight on the stage. I mean, where did all the familiar faces go? Watching Barney, BJ and Baby Bop dance and sing with adults is just not the same as watching them perform with the kids. I didn't really enjoy it as much as I would have if the kids had been around coz I always thought that they were the stars of the show. Sammy enjoyed it though.

'I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too.....'

It's over!

Well, it's finally over.  No more classes, projects and exams!  It's all over!  Suddenly life feels a little empty... I mean it's like a whole heavy burden's been lifted off.  It's great that I've more sleeping time now that I don't have to stay awake to finish reports and stuff, but at the same time it is kinda weird to not have anything to do or look forward to. 
 
Anyway, my final results are out and I managed to get 10 distinctions, 2 credits and 2 passes.  I must say that I am pretty pleased with myself: first for actually completing the course (yes, I have thought of giving up half-way when the going got tough) and second, for being the first in my family to get a degree.  Yea....
 
I was back in Melaka during the weekend, took the opportunity to visit my family before I got myself a job and not be able to make trips home.  It was great for the first couple of days, then my dad got on my nerves and I wished that I had booked us into a hotel instead of staying at my mom's place.  My dad and I never had a good relationship ever since I can remember.  He used to beat me and I mean really BEAT me.  He'd pamper younger my siblings but never me.  I never understood why until today...  He used to beat my mom too.  I called the police on him once, when I was about 15, cause he hit my mom so bad that she needed stitches.  I think that was the night our father-daughter relationship (not that we had one anyway) officially ended.  After that, we were civil to each other but I did it only for mom’s sake.  Luckily the charade didn’t have to last long, I left home almost immediately after I left school.  That’s a long time ago and I still can’t stand him today.  He stills bully her around and I honestly don’t understand why or how she puts up with it. 
 
Well, that’s enough history for now.

Blackout!

Can you believe it! A blackout, and in Singapore too! It lasted about one and a half hour but it was fun when it lasted. I haven't experienced a blackout since I was what..15, 16?? And that's a very long time ago. Had lots of little tea lights all over the house and the environment was kinda cozy.

Been ill over the weekend, wanted to blog about my Law paper which by the way, was absolutely terrible, yup, got the case study alright, but that certainly didn’t help, not the least when we viewed the questions and realised that we’ve been served a curveball! The questions were totally unexpected and all us poor students who’ve been hard at work trying to cover the answers in a different angle just didn’t quite feel right after the paper, especially since we spent a LOT of doing it. Sigh….

Back to my wasted weekend, guess all the pressure built up in me over the past two and a half years just burst out all in one weekend. I was out of bed in the morning just long enough to prepare some soup for all of us before I had to get back into bed. Lucky for me I made soup or else we’d have nothing to eat that day. I even had to cook some rice in the evening coz I woke up (feeling rather hungry!) to find that Kelv didn’t cook any rice. That made me really mad, I mean I was sick and the least he could do was cook the rice! See what I have to put up with …

Anyway, we got our power back on twenty minutes ago, the computer came alive on its own, so while doing a scan of the hard disk thought I’d say hi to everyone out there.
Cheers.

Some old pics...

Daddy and me! 

Just thought I'd upload some pics of Kelvin and Sam for everyone to view :)

This is so much fun! 

Aahh... so relaxed! 

In case you're wondering..

I was just testing out Blogger's new feature, the BloggerBot. It's really easy to use and fun too!
Cheers.

This was taken early this year, that's me, Sam and Kelv, our family. 

My results

Just in case anyone wanted to know, I got 37 out of 40 for my law project!!!! Yippee yai yea!
The International HRM obtained good marks too, 32 out of 40. For all those who kept me in their prayers, thank you.

I'm ecstatic.

More updates..

Here's some more stuff for me to remember...
Sam is able to...
.. count to 8 when he turned 16 months
.. recognise 18 out of the 26 alphabets at 18 months old
.. and is now able to count to 10, and he's all of 19 months old today!!
*beaming with pride*

Sam loves animals, he would have kissed all the stray cats in the neighbourhood if we didn't hold him back. He's already tickled 1 cat and 2 dogs (whose owners were kind enough to let him pat them). He's kissed all the pictures of animals that he could find, even those on his (and our) shirts as well! My adorable son.

Oh, btw, today or rather yesterday was a public holiday here and being Singaporeans, we joined the crowd and headed to the Singapore Food Expo only to be thoroughly dissapointed with the type of food available at the expo! Luckily two halls down was the Motherhood Exhibition, thus our trip there. It was much more fun there, we collected some milk samples for Sam, but sadly, the exhibition participants this year were more stingy with their products and so we could not find any diapers samples to take away with us....sigh...

Guess that's about as interesting as it gets for me. Signing out now :)

Lest I forget...

Just wanted to note these down somewhere.

Sam
..smiled a lot! I think he started smiling very young at about 3 months.
..started sitting at 5 months.
..could play peek-a-boo at 5 months.
..at 6 months was able to look for toys that were hidden or kept out of his sight.
..started crawling at about 9-10 months (kinda slow here).
..said daddy at 10 months! And said more words after that.
..said mommy at 12 months!! I had to wait very long *sigh* but it was worth the wait!
..started picking up words like wildfire! by 14 months, he had a vocab of about 100 words!
..started walking when he turned 14 months old.
..had a vocab of about more than 200 words when he was 16 months old.
..is able to co-ordinate himself to climb up the stairs continuously at 17 months old!
..is now able to express himself very well, in truncated sentences but just as well.

More will come when I remember them.

The difference between my mom and my mother-in-law

As usual my m-i-l irritated the heck out of me again, so I've decided to compile the diff between her and my mom. Feel free to browse.

My mom..
will travel 350 km to see Sam when she misses him (and she does this on a monthly basis, mind you!).
My m-i-l..
will nag that she hasn't seen Sam in weeks and doesn't bother to take the 20 minute trip down to my place to see him, in fact she will sarcastically tell me that it's my responsibility to bring him over to her place.

My mom..
will never fail to help me carry the bags we got when we go shopping, sometimes we even battle over who gets to carry what!
My m-i-l..
will never offer to carry anything, in fact she even get us to carry her stuff as well!

My mom..
will never let me walk in the rain without an umbrella if she has one in her bag.
My m-i-l..
will never offer her umbrella to me for fear that she might need it (even when she was standing under shelter!)

My mom..
will always support Kelvin in his suggestions or ideas.
My m-i-l..
will shoot down all his suggestions or ideas.

My mom..
is full of compliments for everyone.
My m-i-l..
is full of critique for everyone except her few favorites, woe to you if you are not on her fav list!

My mom..
is warm, jovial, supportive, loving and more!
My m-i-l..
... I have yet to see any of the above in her.. how sad.

This is it for now, will update more when I have time.

Happy Mother's Day!

I got three beautiful pink roses from Kelvin today. It was a nice bit of surprise, yes, I never expected it. He's not the romantic type neither is he the kind to give flowers. Our birthdays and other specials dates like anniversaries, valentines and such have always been rather mild, almost non-existent.

Well, whatever it is that made him get me flowers is most welcomed! I enjoyed the flowers very much.

One more down... 4 to go, sigh..

Well, I've finally finished my law project. I must say that this took me a lot of drafts and revisions but it's finally done. Got to get some rest so that I can start on the other 4 tomorrow, hopefully.

Just irritated!

Haven't been on for awhile. Don't you just hate it when you go to a website and find that the site is down or not properly maintained! Government websites are the worst of them all! 8 out of the 10 times I try to get to a link will give me a blank screen! What's worse is that they don't work weekends so there's no one that I can call to get the site back online! GRRRR..!!!

I have finally completed one of the six projects that I have to finish. Somehow things are getting slower, well actually, I am getting slower. It took me about 19 days to complete one assignment when it normally takes 2 weeks before.... I am tired, both physically and mentally, that's all I can think of as an excuse.

I have been trying to get away for a few hours for the past few weekend to just be by myself, maybe go for a massage or something like that but somehow, it just doesn't seem to materialise. Sigh. Last weekend was spent arranging furniture, well, beds to be exact. Sam has decided that he prefers to sleep in our bed as opposed to his cot. Since our bed isn't exactly the Queen Mary II, we have moved a single bed to act as an extension to our bed. It's very much more spacious and the possibility of any of us falling off the bed is next to zero :)

Will be attempting my next project tomorrow, too tired to think about my projects for now, have this splitting headache which I hope will go away after my sleep. Guess I'd better get some sleep now. Later.

I wanted to continue working on my project but somehow my mind is a blank. I just cannot focus on anything that is study related now, sigh.... the stress of it all. I'm really glad that this will be my last semester though I don't know if it was a good idea to cram three modules into one semester what with all my awake-time spent with Sam and my twilight hours dwindling to two/three hours now instead of the four/five hours that I used to be able to clock. I attribute that to old age (after all I am two years older than when I started my course) and accumulated sleep-debt, two-years' worth!

Sam
He's the light of my life and he's the cutest baby ever. He's my son, of course I'll say that... haha. He'll be eighteen months in May! How time flies. I can still remember the days and nights when he drove us crazy when he was just a little baby. But I guess if it weren't for him, our lives would be very boring now. He's learning to talk now and rambles on from morning to night! His vocab has passed the 100-words count and he's still picking up lots more. It's fascinating to watch him grow up, and it's comforting to know that we played a part in his wonderful development.


Well, that's all from me for now, think I'll retire for the night, at least that will help reduce further sleep-debt. cheers.

I think Singaporeans are a spoilt lot! Why? Well, today our lecturer gave us a two-week extension to our project which was supposed to be due duh.. today! Three weeks!! That's how long we had to do it and yet, some of us...couldn't finish it. I wonder what would happen if their time was up, I mean seriously, would they say to God, "Would you give me another couple of weeks please? I didn't have time to finish my life, too busy la"

Jeez! These people are spoilt!! Completely molly-coddled by the Government in everything they do - they have incentives for everything and I mean everything! Incentives to start a business, incentives to be entrepreneural, incentives to venture out of the country to invest, incentives to get married, and lately... even incentives to get a baby!! How more spoilt can a nation get?

I'm just rambling.. didn't have a good day today. Good nite.

I haven't been blogging for awhile now. Busy as usual. Can't understand why I just can't seem to keep up with the laundry, both the washing and the folding parts!! They seem to have overcome me! I've now 3 loads of wash - 2 loads of clothes and 1 load of sheets - all waiting to be folded and I just did another load of wash this morning! Maybe I'm losing my touch, or maybe it's just this assignment that's got me pretty perplexed. No matter how hard I try, this case study is really mind-boggling. There's so many parts to it that I don't know where to start and worse, I don't know how to put them all down in words. Seems like this will be a long semester!!

By the way, my results for last semester are out and I got another 2 distinctions. Yeaaa... for me! At least all that hard work and sleepless nights were worth it.

Yawn..... looks like it's time for me to get back to doing my assignment.

Nat's Corner

I wanted to blog sooner but with exams and just a short week's break and my PC crashing in between starting the new semester and all, I was just too exhausted.

I have just completed 6 continuous days of classes!! That's a record! The timetable was not scheduled well this round and we had a really rough time juggling Sam's care and Kelv's work timetable. But this being my last semester, we, that's Kelv and I, have decided to just sacrifice a bit more and endure all the stress for the next three months. Hopefully, we will survive!

I must say that I am really lucky to have his support and encouragement, something I really cannot do without. On days when I feel really stupid, sad or just plain exhausted, Kelv has always been around to lift my spirit, encourage, comfort and just hug me if I need it. If I sound all mushy, it's only because I love him. I am the luckiest girl in the world and I'm glad that I know it.

Nat's Corner
My courses for this semester are finally over but I've got to prepare for the exams next week. It will be more hard work before I get my well deserved two-week break. Third year is really no joke, everything is much tougher. Loads of projects to complete and all my modules seem to be getting much more complicated. Maybe I'm losing my touch, maybe all these months of lost sleep has finally caught up with me, maybe...

Just in case you're wondering, Sammy's fingers are healing, thank God. He's also getting to be very active now that he can toddle around the house. Sometimes I get so very tired just trying to catch up with him. One second he'll be in the living room and the next in the kitchen or bedroom! Wish I can tie him up or something. (That's tiredness talking!)

Oh, yesterday was Valentine's Day and I had classes in the afternoon(!), yes can't believe it myself, it was smack right in the middle of the day from 2 - 5 pm! I bought a small bunch of flowers for Kelvin, inspired by my classmate's husband's thoughtfulness ... the chap was so sweet - came to pick her up and had flowers for her too!! Sigh.... the romance.

Anyway, Kelv was tickled by the flowers I got him and we decided to do something a little special, but didn't want to spend a bomb on expensive dinners at restaurants, so we ended up at the beach with take-away dinners. The beach was crowded, don't know if it was because it was V-day or if that was normally how it was. Whatever it was, we didn't let that spoil our night, we found a nice spot near the waves, parked ourselves on the grass, laid out the ground sheet and 'picnicked'! Little Sam enjoyed himself very much munching on his apple and stealing bits of our dinner. That was followed by a long, slow walk by the beach. It was indeed different from our usual V-day celebration but it was wonderful. Hope you had an enjoyable one too.

Well, I gotta go study for my exams now. Cheers all.

Have you heard anything more inspiring or motivating than this? In my weak moments I count myself lucky to have chanced upon Rudyard Kipling's poem 'If'. It set my thinking straight.. well at least a little better, Kipling's 'If' is a good example of what living is about - integrity and behaviour. God is certainly gracious to me as He has led me to this poem in my hour of need, Kipling's poem is truly inspiring.

I leave you with this, may it inspire you as much as it did me.


'If' by rudyard kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Have you had one of those days where you feel like you're at the top of the world? Well, this is definitely not one of those days for me.

I always wondered where my mother got the energy to go on with her marriage life with three kids and a very unsupportive husband! Some days I can hardly go on... even with a supportive (??) husband and only ONE kid! How did she do it?

I've been feeling really down these few days... maybe it's the stress of all the projects that I was rushing for and the knowledge that I didn't do a good job this time round due to the CNY holidays and my visit back to my hometown. The visit was great, it was wonderful seeing all my loved ones back home but it cost me - big time! I did not have sufficient time to hand in quality work for my individual projects and now I'm regretting it.... and feeling really guilty about not spending enough time on my work. How do I get over this feeling? Maybe it's just me... being a perfectionist does not help, at all.

Sammy got burnt a couple of days back. I left him with his daddy for less than five minutes and he got scalded by the iron during that short time! How did it happen? I really cannot comprehend it! Being angry does not help coz it's over now but somehow it makes it very difficult for me to trust Kelvin when he's alone with Sammy anymore. This certainly does not help my paranoia. I just cannot understand how it is possible for him to not be able to care for a little baby for a few hours without bungling it! Isn't there some maternal or in this case, paternal instinct to want to protect your little one from harm!?! The list, so far, has gone from forgetting Sammy's feed (a few times mind you!), over-tiring the little one by bringing him out the whole day and missing his nap times to now this incident with the iron.

I know, I know, some things just aren't supposed to be done by men, this I have been told many times, but hey, it's not fair to keep saying this over and over and say that they should be excused for everything just because of their sex! I was not brought up to look after kids, neither was I taught to look after infants nor babies but I learnt, by hook or by crook I learnt! It took a tremendous amount of reading but I managed, and whatever I learnt, I taught him. So you see there was a transfer of knowledge here. I shared everything I knew with him, so why can't he do it? Sometimes I get the feeling that he just doesn't bother to try and that is what saddens me most.

Just needed to get this off my chest...

What a hectic new year this has been! I have been having classes and project meetings nearly every other day and haven't had time to even breathe! We've four projects and two presentations to tackle this round in a short period of six weeks and I'm really feeling pressurised. All these late nights of slogging on my projects are really taking its toll, been suffering from headaches lately..... It just doesn't seem to go away. Any cure for headaches anyone?

I just finished watching 'Serendipity' on TV, I heard so much about it.. about how good it was but it was kind of a letdown. I found the story so corny. Maybe it's just me but I don't know, I just felt that nothing in life can get that messed up and then still have a happy ending.

Christmas passed very slowly and lonely for me. Kelvin had to work and I was left alone with Sam. Don't get me wrong, Sam's wonderful to be around with but you can't have a conversation with a baby can you? I just need that 'human' contact, that's all.

On a cheerier note, Sam has learnt to stand and he can now take steps (when assisted)! It is fun to see him take his steps every now and then. Too bad I cannot post pictures here, coz I'd have to upgrade and pay $$.... something I don't want to do yet since I'm not blogging that regularly... yet. Maybe later.

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!

While having my shower I wondered who’d read my blog. I mean what kind of person reads blogs anyway? Won’t they have better things to do than to read about someone else’s rantings? To be fair, not all blogs are rants. Some are pretty good actually. My guess is a blogger would read other bloggers’ blog. That’s what being a blogger is isn’t it? Writing and reading blogs… errr… right? Anyway, someone from www.flyingchair.net is holding this best blogger awards thingy and if you are free do go over there for a whole list of blog sites to visit. Some are really good, like this photoblog called CY Leow’s photoblog and Screenshots by Jeff Ooi (both Malaysian blogs). Others are ok, and some are plain junk like meesh (from Malaysia) and xiaxue (from Singapore).

Well, that’s my two-cents anyway, go rate them yourselves.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother but then again where can I ramble and complain without irritating anyone else? Sigh...... guess this is better than bottling it all inside waiting for it to eat me up one day. Anyway, here goes, my mom-in-law called me yesterday afternoon. There was no cordial 'Hello Nat, how have you been doing? We missed you at prayers last week.' (Just FYI, I had classes all weekend and it was a refreshing break from babysitting!).

Instead all I got was her angry voice demanding that I TELL my hubby to return the bottle of 'ginseng' which she accused him of NOT eating. She wanted us to bring it to the family gathering that evening. How does she know that he did not take it?? I wonder.... did we announce it to the world like..."Hey everyone, we have a bottle of 'ginseng' here that we are not taking!!!" No, I'm sure it's just her way of telling me that she's pissed that I did not take her to the flower shop like she TOLD me to.

Yup, she TOLD me to bring her to the flower shop a couple of days before Sammy fell ill (and a day before Kelvin went to HK). As I was not free then, I said I would when I could, then Sammy fell ill and I was kept busy, busy, busy. But I guess since she didn't bother to call to find out how we were doing she didn't know that Sammy was ill or that I had my hands full and could use some help.

Anyway, she was rude to me on the phone. I told Kelvin that his mom wanted her 'ginseng' back and he said that he'll pay her for it since he spoilt it. What surprised me most was how my mom-in-law acted that evening when she saw us. She was cordial to me!! Imagine that, the cunning woman was actually talking nicely to me! I deduced that she was nice only because Kelvin was around and well, if that's her game, then fine. I will be on my toes from now on.

I actually thought we were getting along for awhile! I was trying hard to be a friend to her for Kelvin's sake. I didn't mind ferrying her around when she needed to get some things, even brought her shopping for her household stuff but I guess all that has been in vain. She must have seen me as just an errand girl or something equivalent and is not grateful for the friendship that I have extended her. How very sad.

Got this is the mail today. It's a little long but worth the read.

THE PERFUME

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same.
However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag.

Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long to say, " Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive.

The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer... the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

In case anyone's interested, I managed to get 2 distinctions for my papers for last semester. Yup, that's 2 more As under my belt. Yahoooooooo..........

Today as I was patting Sam for his afternoon nap, my thoughts drifted to my mom and aunt who came to visit me last week. I thought of their cheery chit chats and laughter and how I missed them. I thought about how close they are even after spending half their lives apart. I thought of the support my mom and aunt gave each other during their times of need - my mom for her angioplasty and my aunt for the removal of her left breast.

My thoughts then went to my sister. We've lived apart about half our lives too! I left home at 17+ to work in a foreign country whilst my younger sis and brother completed their education. Our family was poor, my mom couldn't afford to put me thru university so I decided to give my younger siblings a chance by going out to work. I didn't earn much, in fact my first official paycheck was only a meagre SGD534.00, earned working as a bank clerk. I have been working ever since.

Anyway, back to my sis, lucky for us we are still close, we call each other every now and then, we email each other almost weekly and we still meet up every year! I'm glad I have her in my life and I want our relationship to be just like that of my mom and aunt's, forever!!

Sam fell ill last Sunday and is now recovering, thank God for that. I was so worried that his fever was never going to break! It finally did. The doc said that it was most likely a viral infection, hard to comprehend that when I hardly bring him out at all.

Anyway, the past 3 sleepless nights have taken its toll on me, I now have a splitting headache that doesn't seem to want to go away and my patience is really short. Yes, I am a monster when I'm tired, I'll admit that, but who isn't right? Looking after an ill baby is really tough, Sam was crying and fretting a lot, so much so that at times I felt like smacking him. Don't worry, that's normal, what is not normal would be for me to actually do it!

My new semester starts tomorrow! Don't know if I'll attend the first lesson of the semester as Sam is still not perfectly well yet. We'll see how it is tomorrow. I can't believe that I am already half way through my degree course, really looking forward to completing it soon. It's really taxing to have a baby and study part time!

Here's something I got in the mail yesterday, enjoy.

TO ALL THE INCREDIBLE WOMEN THAT GOD CREATED.
By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart and have two pairs of hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Two pairs of hands! No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I can't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?" asked the angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."

AND SHE IS!

Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without, so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friends dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can help to heal a broken heart.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They'll drive, fly, walk, run.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning!
They bring joy and hope. They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

If there's one flaw in women, it is that they tend to forget about themselves.

Have I ever mentioned my mom-in-law? I don't think so. My husband was away in Hong Kong for some training his company sent him. He was gone for all of 5 days. In the 5 days that he was gone, my m-i-l didn't call to check if I needed help or if I was ok. The fact that I'm a first-time mom taking care of her grandson who will be carrying the family name (which is a very big deal in Chinese culture and traditions) didn't seem to have any effect on her at all.

No, it's not that I want the attention, but it would have been a nice gesture to find out how I was coping alone at home with a baby..., after all I am the mother of her grandson.

Well, I guess that's her...... being herself. When I married Kelvin, I married his whole family - that's how it is here in Asia. The new family that I got "married" to was not so warm nor caring towards each other... I mean they do try and I'm sure that they love each other very much but they just don't seem to know how to be civil to each other for very long. Gatherings usually end up in arguements, and over the 'silliest' reasons too!

I always wondered why they acted the way they did and slowly I found out that they were just brought up that way..... by the matriach, my m-i-l. Anyway, to make a long story short, she wasn't modelled after the 'Stepford wives'. She's more of a "I'm always right and you're not" person. She tried dominating our marriage but thankfully I managed to reason with Kelvin that it is OUR marriage after all and not hers. Our relationship wasn't actually wonderful in the beginning but I tried to be civil for Kelvin's sake. Didn't want to put him in a difficult spot. Sometimes I wonder why I try so hard........

Yesterday I saw a parent smacked her kid who was throwing a tantrum. Later the same day, I heard a child screaming her (his? can't tell, the voice was too shrill too differentiate) head off! I wonder if we are bringing up our kids right these days. Some children are given so much choice that they become spoilt and demand more. Today, my brother-in-law sent me this story of 'non-violence in parenting' and I thought I'd share it with you...


Dr. Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi and founder of the M.K.Gandhi Institute for Non-violence, in his June 9 lecture at the University of Puerto Rico, shared the following story as an example of ‘non-violence in parenting’:

"I was 16 years old and living with my parents at the institute my grandfather had founded 18 miles outside of Durban, South Africa, in the middle of the sugar plantations. We were deep in the country and had no neighbors, so my two sisters and I would always look forward to going to town to visit friends or go to the movies. One day, my father asked me to drive him to town for an all-day conference, and I jumped at the chance. Since I was going to town, my mother gave me a list of groceries she needed and, since I had all day in town, my father asked me to take care of several pending chores such as getting the car serviced. When I dropped my father off that morning, he said, 'I will meet you here at 5:00 p.m., and we will go home together.'

After hurriedly completing my chores, I went straight to the nearest movie theatre. I got so engrossed in a John Wayne double-feature that I forgot the time. It was 5:30pm before I remembered. By the time I ran to the garage and got the car and hurried to where my father was waiting for me, it was almost 6:00pm. He anxiously asked me, 'Why were you late?' I was so ashamed of telling him I was watching a John Wayne western movie that I said, 'The car wasn't ready, so I had to wait,' not realizing that he had already called the garage.

When he caught me in the lie, he said 'There's something wrong in the way I brought you up that didn't give you the confidence to tell me the truth. In order to figure out where I went wrong with you, I'm going to walk home 18 miles and think about it.' So, dressed in his suit and dress shoes, he began to walk home in the dark on mostly unpaved, unlit roads. I couldn't leave him, so for five-and-a-half hours I drove behind him, watching my father go through this agony for a stupid lie that I uttered. I decided then and there that I was never going to lie again. I often think about that episode and wonder, if he had punished me the way we punish our children, whether I would have learned a lesson at all.

I don't think so. I would have suffered the punishment and gone on doing the same thing. But this single non-violent action was so powerful that it is still as if it happened yesterday. That is the power of non-violence.".

I just hope that I'll be a good parent and pray that God will give me guidance, strength and patience when I need them most.

My exams are over.. at last but only for this semester. I have 3 more semesters to go and then it will finally be over!! I cannot wait. It seems like a dream, 3 more semesters.

I'm going to be the fist one in my family to have a degree and I'm feeling pretty good about it :) I've been studying part time for very long, almost for as long as I can remember. Started with my certificate course, then my diploma and the advanced diploma and finally, this degree course. Yes, I have come a long way and it has taken a very long time for me. I would have completed it sooner, but it does cost a lot to study part time and not having enough funds does put a dampener on one's plans. Enough said, what's important is that I'm finally on my way to completion. Yahoo.......

Another joke for today.
For those who are working, you'll find that this sounds pretty familiar......

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west
longitude."

"You must be an engineer" said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman, "how did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The woman below responded, "You must be in management." "I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people below you to resolve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault.

I'm supposed to be studying now... got an exam paper tomorrow and the day after.... but I just can't do it anymore!!!! Can't seem to sit myself down and absorb anymore... for now I hope. Maybe I'll try again after this or... after lunch.

Well, here's another joke I received, hope it cheers someone up... anyone.


A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees Steven
Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and
asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You
Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here." The astonished
Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour,
it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese man gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies,
"It was the iceberg that sank the ship,not me."

The Chinese man, replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the
same."

Got this really funny joke today, thought I'd share it. Enjoy:


I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year,and
so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my
friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one
thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty
years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would
regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view
of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she
was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to
me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires
for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and
couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom and
if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was
stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them
down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and
went straight to the front door.

I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight
towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With
tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you
have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our
daughter. Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is: always keep your condoms in your car.

It's been hectic, these past few months... Study, baby and household chores. My life seems to be focused on everything else but me....

It's Samuel's first birthday today, it was supposed to be a happy day but it turned out pretty tiring for me. He decided that today would be tantrum day and drove me up the wall pretty much the whole day. I was on the verge of smacking him for most part of the night, it was a scary thought but I guessed it was a normal thought too, you would have thought the same if you were in my shoes. I managed to control myself, kept on reminding myself that he's still a baby....

Well, at least the nightmare's over, he looks like an angel now asleep in his cot. Tomorrow's a new day...

Another post, I cannot believe that I'm doing this again, so soon after all these months of not blogging. I'm just very stressed, must be because of the exam on Tuesday. I've been squeezing in revision hours throughout the whole of today and am rather tired now. But the studying must go on into the night as that is the only best time for me to get some revision done. It's not easy being a full time mom and a part time student, not easy at all...

Taking care of Sammy for the last six months has its ups and downs, and mostly it has been wonderful. I appreciated more the miracle of God's works when I see the fragile little baby that He gave us grow to the cheeky little baby that Sammy has turned out to be. It is not easy to look after a baby full time and sometimes you can just 'loose it' under all the stress - its worse than being at work!! So I'm really thankful for the strength and perseverance that God has granted me when I needed them most.

I haven't had time to blog since Samuel was born. It has been a roller coaster ride looking after him and studying part time. Being a first time mom I had to pick up everything from my mom very quickly -it was a make or break situation- coz she was with me only for the first month of my confinement. I watched and practised changing diapers and bathing Sammy under the watchful eyes of my mom. It was tough but she encouraged me all the way, we had differing views though about some stuff, she being 'old fashioned' and all and me wanting to try out what I've read in Dr Miriam Stoppard's 'Complete Baby & Childcare'. The arguements that I had with my mom on how certain things should be done meant that someone was around with me and (more importantly) for me, but best of all was that someone was around to comfort me and look after me during my first month after childbirth.

The old Chinese folks believe that if one does not take care of herself during this period (called the 'confinement period') and recuperate 'properly', she will be 'weak' physically from then on. Confinement period here meant a whole lot of dos and don'ts -some of them being a) no bathes for a whole month b) no going out of the house c) try not to reveal any body parts (limbs included!) to the wind!! d) no air-con and the list goes on and on....

I can't say that I had a good confinement, Sammy was diagnosed to have 'G6PD Deficiency' and he was also jaundiced on the day that we were supposed to check-out of the hospital. The doctors wanted to keep him in the Neo-natal ward for observation for two weeks! I was heartbroken, Sammy had not left my side since he was born and now I was to be separated from him for two weeks, I cried - a lot. Since I was breastfeeding him I had to go back to the hospital everyday. So much for the much needed rest that I was supposed to get and all the other dos and don'ts. I was really exhausted after a week of shuttling to and from the hospital and decided to get the doctors to release him, they agreed but only if I would sign an indemnity form, typical!

Sammy came home on day 10 of his life, I was exhilarated!