Have you had one of those days where you feel like you're at the top of the world? Well, this is definitely not one of those days for me.

I always wondered where my mother got the energy to go on with her marriage life with three kids and a very unsupportive husband! Some days I can hardly go on... even with a supportive (??) husband and only ONE kid! How did she do it?

I've been feeling really down these few days... maybe it's the stress of all the projects that I was rushing for and the knowledge that I didn't do a good job this time round due to the CNY holidays and my visit back to my hometown. The visit was great, it was wonderful seeing all my loved ones back home but it cost me - big time! I did not have sufficient time to hand in quality work for my individual projects and now I'm regretting it.... and feeling really guilty about not spending enough time on my work. How do I get over this feeling? Maybe it's just me... being a perfectionist does not help, at all.

Sammy got burnt a couple of days back. I left him with his daddy for less than five minutes and he got scalded by the iron during that short time! How did it happen? I really cannot comprehend it! Being angry does not help coz it's over now but somehow it makes it very difficult for me to trust Kelvin when he's alone with Sammy anymore. This certainly does not help my paranoia. I just cannot understand how it is possible for him to not be able to care for a little baby for a few hours without bungling it! Isn't there some maternal or in this case, paternal instinct to want to protect your little one from harm!?! The list, so far, has gone from forgetting Sammy's feed (a few times mind you!), over-tiring the little one by bringing him out the whole day and missing his nap times to now this incident with the iron.

I know, I know, some things just aren't supposed to be done by men, this I have been told many times, but hey, it's not fair to keep saying this over and over and say that they should be excused for everything just because of their sex! I was not brought up to look after kids, neither was I taught to look after infants nor babies but I learnt, by hook or by crook I learnt! It took a tremendous amount of reading but I managed, and whatever I learnt, I taught him. So you see there was a transfer of knowledge here. I shared everything I knew with him, so why can't he do it? Sometimes I get the feeling that he just doesn't bother to try and that is what saddens me most.

Just needed to get this off my chest...