Class of 2004. 

Here's Cecilia and Lewis, two of my best mates! 

Kelv, my pillar of support. 

Finally, a pic of us all together, ... after all the photo-taking :) 

My graduation

It's finally over, another chapter of my life. It's like a dream, I received my degree on 25 October 04!!
Kelv took some pics of me and my mom and my fellow classmates. Will put up the pics later tonight if I have time. Just wanted to let everyone out there know that I've finally got it :)

Long time no blog..

In case you've missed me... I have been super busy adjusting to work.. gone on a short holiday to Penang and Langkawi and then back to work again. It's been tough for both me and Sam as he had to attend playschool and took about 3 weeks to adjust. I, on the other hand, had to adjust on how to be apart from him for about 9 hours everyday.

Work... Work is pretty stressful especially when I've had to take over and clean up someone else's mess. Months of cleaning up to do! No proper hand-over of work as the lady I took over from left on 1 day's notice. Sigh.. very hard. I hope that things will get better once I straightened everything out, giving myself a couple of months more to get everything to tip top shape.

My graduation is on 25 October 04 at 7 pm at Raffles City Convention Centre. I just cannot wait.. hope it will be fun, after all it is my special day :) More blog more on this later.

Here's Sam with his 'EE' Ama. 'EE' is what kids call their aunties as a sign of respect. My sis came for a short visit and Sam really bonded with her. He was so sad that she had to go back and kept asking for her long after she had left Singapore. He'll ask 'mommy, where's EE?' every other day and I'd have to remind him that she's gone back home and will visit us soon... I hope. Ama is always so busy. 

Here's the local mint plant, if you have a cough and want to get rid of it in a jiff, just boil the leaves in water and drink it up. Works like a charm.

This beautiful plant is the curry plant. The leaves are used in curry dishes where they lend their wonderful curry aroma to the whatever dish is being cooked, and they are really high in iron too!

This is my chilli plant. It's actually the smaller but more potent version of the normal chilli. Locals call it 'chilli padi', one bite of this is enough to blow you away! Seriously! 

Have I mentioned my little garden, actually there's not much space for a garden when you're living in a flat but I've dedicated a little corner in my kitchen for some plants. Here's my aloevera plant, as you can see they're all growing sideways trying to get to the window so that they can get the sunlight. 

Nervousness..

Now that I've signed the employment letter, I'm feeling a little nervous. A lot of 'what if's have popped into my head, like... what if I miss Sam too terribly, what if I cannot adjust going back to work, what if I find out that I don't like to work anymore after nearly 2 years of not working? I'm petrified and I think I've just scared myself again...

JOB!

I was offered a job today, remember the interview I went to last Friday, yup, got it! Finally, yippee.....

providing for someone

How do you provide for someone when you don't have a job? I feel so helpless, almost useless, for not being able to secure a job. I think I will go mad soon thinking about this. The past months have been stressful on me as I started to look around for a job and found that most companies would not hire a mom with a young child just because they think that we 'would not be commited enough to the company'. Now where in the world do they get ideas like that? If any, we'd be most stable and committed to the job as that would be our source of income - our avenue for a better life for our child(ren). Sigh... just needed to get things off my chest.

my aspirations..

I went for a job interview last Friday and I was asked to write about myself and my aspirations. The part on myself was easy, but my aspirations, now that really made me think! I mean, what did I want to do in life? It was easier when I was younger, I can still remember.

At 12, I wanted to be a stewardess so that I can get to travel to all the different countries and still get paid doing it!
At 16, I wanted to be a lawyer coz I always wanted to win in all my quarrels with my sister!
At 18, when I started work with nothing more than an O level certificate to my name, all I wanted to be was RESPECTED.
At 21, I couldn't care less what I wanted to be, I was just happy to be me and spending my time with my friends.
At 25, I just wanted to get my degree!

Now at 32 with a degree and a son in hand, I just don't know what it is that I want... well, actually, I guess I do know, I just want to be a good mother to Sam, I want to be able to spend time with him, be a friend for him when he needs one, a shoulder for him when he cries and at the same time just be a mom for him when he needs love, support and understanding. My mother is the best role model, always there for us when we needed her and always putting our needs before hers. I know what I want to be, I want to be just like my mother!

Playschool

Today was Sam's 4th day in his playgroup at the YWCA centre. The experience hasn't been all too good. There are 3 big bullies there who go around slapping, pushing and hitting smaller kids. The teachers seem oblivious to this fact - why? I have no idea. They even insist that one of the bullies (I pointed them out to the teachers, okay, so I'm a teetoteller, who's not!) won't do such things!! Even when it happened in front of them they seem to not 'see' it. How is this possible? Are they so tired of their jobs that they just don't care anymore?

I've decided to just endure the next week since we had to pay for 2 weeks in advance (even though these 2 weeks was supposed to be a trial period!!). I'm gonna be the typical 'pain-in-the-ass' parent who will sit there until Sam's 3 hours is up daily. I'm only doing it because I have no confidence in the teachers, they just ignore the crying children (who are missing their mommies) and focus on the other kids. Somehow, I think that they are -sadly, going about it the wrong way, ignoring the kid will just make him feel moer insecure and unwanted thus the feeling of wanting to go home to mommy is intensified and he will take longer to adjust to the environment. These people don't seem to have a clue about these things, maybe they should take Psychology 101.

Sam says that he doesn't want to go to school because "So scared. Children hit Sam" and "People disturb Sam", those are his own words, from the mouth of a babe! Am I being paranoid here?

my 'little' man

I took a fall early this evening while preparing Sam's bath. I slipped as I stepped out of the bathroom and fell, hitting my arm against the corner of the metal doorframe, ouch! Sam saw the fall and had a concerned look on his face, imagine that. This was the conversation that took place after the fall.

Sam: Is it hot mommy? (Sam associates hot with pain)
Me: No darling, it's just very painful. (sitting on the floor)
Sam: Sammy kiss mommy?
Me: Okay.. (still sitting on the floor)

Sam walks over, steps out of the bathroom carefully and kissed me on my cheeks.

He sees me rubbing my arm and says, "Sam kiss mommy's hand 'k?"
Me: Okay..

Very gently he kisses me on my arm. That's Sam, my little man, so young and so loving.

Sam's developments

Have I mentioned that Sam is speaking in sentences already? His tenses and grammar are coming along really well too. We're so proud of his accomplishment.

At 18 months, he said his longest, almost perfect, sentence comparing the neighbour's clothes with ours, "Aunty hang clothes, mommy hang clothes also. Mommy hang daddy's clothes." He's also so aware of his surroundings, well, maybe I don't have much experience with babies before and so I'm not sure of their level of awareness but what I do know is that Sam will constantly share what he feels, hears and smells with me and it's such a joy to be able to share it with him.

When he catches a smell from the neighbour's cooking he will tell me "Smell mommy, somebody's cooking." and when he hears sounds from the cars or motorbike downstairs, he says, "Sound from motorbike/car, so noisy." But what is even more amazing to me is when he asks me to be careful in his most concern voice when I drive or go down a ramp into the basement of a carpark. He'd normally say "Be careful mommy" or if there are people crossing the road while I'm trying to park, he'd go "Be careful (of) man, mommy." Isn't that just so adorable??

I think I'm the luckiest mom and Sam, the most lovable baby on this planet.

weirdness..

Had lunch with my mil yesterday and she was mentioning about my how sis-in-law’s baby is a ‘healing crystal baby’ sent to ‘bring the family together’… errr where do people get these ideas anyway? I mean seriously, really, seriously! Out of curiosity I searched the web for more info on these ‘crystal children’ that’s she’s been talking about and what I read really scares me. I mean, where do these people get their research from anyway? Do they just go to bed and get up the next day and feel that they could write these things and get away with it? Well, obviously they could and did, with quite a few people ‘buying’ into their ideas. I guess only those really lonely ones or those feeling hopeless would buy into this, no sane person would believe such nonsense.

Here's Sam learning how to handle a knife. We bought him a wooden knife with some wooden foodstuff so that he could practise on them ;) 

Sam had lots of fun here splashing water everywhere and getting wet. The editing of these three pictures didn't turn out as well as I wanted it to be but I guess it will do for now until I improve my skills.... 

Birthdays..

Last weekend my in-laws celebrated another birthday in the family, it was my husband's niece's birthday. The celebration reminded me of my birthday just a couple of months back... which they did not celebrate. My in-laws celebrate everybody's birthdays including their family members' spouses birthdays, all but mine. Was it just an unintentional 'forgotten' date or was it deliberately forgotten. I don't think I will know for sure but I do know that even if they had indeed forgotten about it during the day itself, they could have celebrated it during the weekend immediately after my big day. Well, guess I do know the answer after all. Great way to make someone feel unwelcomed to the family.

Visit to the Singapore Zoo

Here's Sam with the dugong miniatures (manatees to those unfamiliar with the local name of this beautiful creature). 

Taken at the Singapore Zoo, Sam's a little tired from all the walking .. 

Sam has this 'deep-in-thought' look in this shot (taken in mid July 04).  I can't remember what was going on around him then, but I know I just love this shot! 

House

Saw a house for sale yesterday. Viewed it, really liked it... but couldn't afford the 10 per cent deposit that we had to put on the house! So sad. Feeling really down now.

Equal Employment Opportunity

Let's talk about EEO, or if you are a resident of Singapore, let's not talk about EEO. Nobody's ever 'heard' of it here, especially not the employers when conducting interviews of potential employees. They go to the extent of asking how many children you have, your arrangement for their care and if you'd be committed enough to the company ie. to be at their call 24/7 if need be.

It's ridiculous, I know, but that's the situation here in Singapore, the manpower ministry doesn't seem to want to do anything about it either. I know that Singapore is trade-dependent and all but to sacrifice the residents' rights and needs is not a smart move, especially since no residents equals no country!

Just had to get this off my chest, having a hard time looking for a job when every potential employer asks me to decide where my priority lies - with the company or family. Duh! What do they think? They'd only be morons if they actually believe someone who tells them what they want to hear.

Instead of looking at the positive side of employing a married woman with a kid, they harp on the negative side which is only one point, mind you and that is her inability to stay late in the office everyday. Don't they know that an efficient worker does NOT need to stay late everyday! Haven't they heard of flexible work hours!!  Think of all the positive point we married woman have: we have stability - we are definitely not about to job hop to the highest bidder in a second unlike someone with no commitments and nothing to tie her down.   We are mature, responsible, dependable, all traits of a good mother too!

No wonder the Singapore birth rate is declining really fast, after experiencing what I experienced, nobody would want to get another kid!

He just loves cars!! 

Left out this really cute pic of Sam on his Godpa. Caught this while they were snoozing after a very long day at the beach. Aren't they adorable! 

Sam's latest past-time, clipping his daddy! He's so cute while he's doing this and believe me, he can do this all night!! 

Owl Sam 

Building sandcastles

At the beach. 
 
Sam had a wonderful time on the beach building sandcastles .. with a little help from mommy :).  But I think he was just happy to get his hands dirty.  He loved the sand so much that we had to practically pull him away from his works of arts when it was time to go.  Kelv's twin came back from Hong Kong on the weekend of June 18, that's why we were out at the beach just a few days before my exams!!  But since she doesn't come back very often and it was a family reunion, my presence was required.  The picnic cum BBQ turned out pretty well, no fights in between, luckily.  The kids all enjoyed themselves, including the two babies.

Hello everyone 

Barney's Asian Tour

Barney in Singapore! 

Barney and gang was in Singapore for the premier of Barney's Big Surprise from June 16 - 30. This purple dinosaur was such a hit that about 2000+ children + parents were at the airport welcoming him. Since Sam loves Barney a WHOLE lot, we were at the airport too, 1 1/2 hours early just so we could get a good spot to 'welcome' him. Sam was dissapointed that Barney did not come to shake his hands tho'.

The tickets to the show was gone almost as soon as they were released! All good seats were snapped up within hours and silly me who was trying to book them online was left with only cheap seats which were quite far away from the stage. The SISTIC website where they were being sold could not take the sudden flood of parents all trying to buy the tickets online at the same time (which caused the system to crash). Phone booking was another joke, don't bother cause you won't get through. Lesson learnt, never buy tickets online or thru phone booking if you seriously want good seats!

I managed to get tickets only after I decided to pack Sam and get out of the house (in the rain!!) and queue at the SISTIC counter. I queued for nearly two hours just to get tickets to see a dinosaur sing! Sam had better appreciate this when he's older!
 
Anyway, the Barney's Big Surprise was a BIG surprise alright, not a single kid was in sight on the stage. I mean, where did all the familiar faces go? Watching Barney, BJ and Baby Bop dance and sing with adults is just not the same as watching them perform with the kids. I didn't really enjoy it as much as I would have if the kids had been around coz I always thought that they were the stars of the show. Sammy enjoyed it though.

'I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too.....'

It's over!

Well, it's finally over.  No more classes, projects and exams!  It's all over!  Suddenly life feels a little empty... I mean it's like a whole heavy burden's been lifted off.  It's great that I've more sleeping time now that I don't have to stay awake to finish reports and stuff, but at the same time it is kinda weird to not have anything to do or look forward to. 
 
Anyway, my final results are out and I managed to get 10 distinctions, 2 credits and 2 passes.  I must say that I am pretty pleased with myself: first for actually completing the course (yes, I have thought of giving up half-way when the going got tough) and second, for being the first in my family to get a degree.  Yea....
 
I was back in Melaka during the weekend, took the opportunity to visit my family before I got myself a job and not be able to make trips home.  It was great for the first couple of days, then my dad got on my nerves and I wished that I had booked us into a hotel instead of staying at my mom's place.  My dad and I never had a good relationship ever since I can remember.  He used to beat me and I mean really BEAT me.  He'd pamper younger my siblings but never me.  I never understood why until today...  He used to beat my mom too.  I called the police on him once, when I was about 15, cause he hit my mom so bad that she needed stitches.  I think that was the night our father-daughter relationship (not that we had one anyway) officially ended.  After that, we were civil to each other but I did it only for mom’s sake.  Luckily the charade didn’t have to last long, I left home almost immediately after I left school.  That’s a long time ago and I still can’t stand him today.  He stills bully her around and I honestly don’t understand why or how she puts up with it. 
 
Well, that’s enough history for now.

Blackout!

Can you believe it! A blackout, and in Singapore too! It lasted about one and a half hour but it was fun when it lasted. I haven't experienced a blackout since I was what..15, 16?? And that's a very long time ago. Had lots of little tea lights all over the house and the environment was kinda cozy.

Been ill over the weekend, wanted to blog about my Law paper which by the way, was absolutely terrible, yup, got the case study alright, but that certainly didn’t help, not the least when we viewed the questions and realised that we’ve been served a curveball! The questions were totally unexpected and all us poor students who’ve been hard at work trying to cover the answers in a different angle just didn’t quite feel right after the paper, especially since we spent a LOT of doing it. Sigh….

Back to my wasted weekend, guess all the pressure built up in me over the past two and a half years just burst out all in one weekend. I was out of bed in the morning just long enough to prepare some soup for all of us before I had to get back into bed. Lucky for me I made soup or else we’d have nothing to eat that day. I even had to cook some rice in the evening coz I woke up (feeling rather hungry!) to find that Kelv didn’t cook any rice. That made me really mad, I mean I was sick and the least he could do was cook the rice! See what I have to put up with …

Anyway, we got our power back on twenty minutes ago, the computer came alive on its own, so while doing a scan of the hard disk thought I’d say hi to everyone out there.
Cheers.

Some old pics...

Daddy and me! 

Just thought I'd upload some pics of Kelvin and Sam for everyone to view :)

This is so much fun! 

Aahh... so relaxed! 

In case you're wondering..

I was just testing out Blogger's new feature, the BloggerBot. It's really easy to use and fun too!
Cheers.

This was taken early this year, that's me, Sam and Kelv, our family. 

My results

Just in case anyone wanted to know, I got 37 out of 40 for my law project!!!! Yippee yai yea!
The International HRM obtained good marks too, 32 out of 40. For all those who kept me in their prayers, thank you.

I'm ecstatic.

More updates..

Here's some more stuff for me to remember...
Sam is able to...
.. count to 8 when he turned 16 months
.. recognise 18 out of the 26 alphabets at 18 months old
.. and is now able to count to 10, and he's all of 19 months old today!!
*beaming with pride*

Sam loves animals, he would have kissed all the stray cats in the neighbourhood if we didn't hold him back. He's already tickled 1 cat and 2 dogs (whose owners were kind enough to let him pat them). He's kissed all the pictures of animals that he could find, even those on his (and our) shirts as well! My adorable son.

Oh, btw, today or rather yesterday was a public holiday here and being Singaporeans, we joined the crowd and headed to the Singapore Food Expo only to be thoroughly dissapointed with the type of food available at the expo! Luckily two halls down was the Motherhood Exhibition, thus our trip there. It was much more fun there, we collected some milk samples for Sam, but sadly, the exhibition participants this year were more stingy with their products and so we could not find any diapers samples to take away with us....sigh...

Guess that's about as interesting as it gets for me. Signing out now :)

Lest I forget...

Just wanted to note these down somewhere.

Sam
..smiled a lot! I think he started smiling very young at about 3 months.
..started sitting at 5 months.
..could play peek-a-boo at 5 months.
..at 6 months was able to look for toys that were hidden or kept out of his sight.
..started crawling at about 9-10 months (kinda slow here).
..said daddy at 10 months! And said more words after that.
..said mommy at 12 months!! I had to wait very long *sigh* but it was worth the wait!
..started picking up words like wildfire! by 14 months, he had a vocab of about 100 words!
..started walking when he turned 14 months old.
..had a vocab of about more than 200 words when he was 16 months old.
..is able to co-ordinate himself to climb up the stairs continuously at 17 months old!
..is now able to express himself very well, in truncated sentences but just as well.

More will come when I remember them.

The difference between my mom and my mother-in-law

As usual my m-i-l irritated the heck out of me again, so I've decided to compile the diff between her and my mom. Feel free to browse.

My mom..
will travel 350 km to see Sam when she misses him (and she does this on a monthly basis, mind you!).
My m-i-l..
will nag that she hasn't seen Sam in weeks and doesn't bother to take the 20 minute trip down to my place to see him, in fact she will sarcastically tell me that it's my responsibility to bring him over to her place.

My mom..
will never fail to help me carry the bags we got when we go shopping, sometimes we even battle over who gets to carry what!
My m-i-l..
will never offer to carry anything, in fact she even get us to carry her stuff as well!

My mom..
will never let me walk in the rain without an umbrella if she has one in her bag.
My m-i-l..
will never offer her umbrella to me for fear that she might need it (even when she was standing under shelter!)

My mom..
will always support Kelvin in his suggestions or ideas.
My m-i-l..
will shoot down all his suggestions or ideas.

My mom..
is full of compliments for everyone.
My m-i-l..
is full of critique for everyone except her few favorites, woe to you if you are not on her fav list!

My mom..
is warm, jovial, supportive, loving and more!
My m-i-l..
... I have yet to see any of the above in her.. how sad.

This is it for now, will update more when I have time.

Happy Mother's Day!

I got three beautiful pink roses from Kelvin today. It was a nice bit of surprise, yes, I never expected it. He's not the romantic type neither is he the kind to give flowers. Our birthdays and other specials dates like anniversaries, valentines and such have always been rather mild, almost non-existent.

Well, whatever it is that made him get me flowers is most welcomed! I enjoyed the flowers very much.

One more down... 4 to go, sigh..

Well, I've finally finished my law project. I must say that this took me a lot of drafts and revisions but it's finally done. Got to get some rest so that I can start on the other 4 tomorrow, hopefully.

Just irritated!

Haven't been on for awhile. Don't you just hate it when you go to a website and find that the site is down or not properly maintained! Government websites are the worst of them all! 8 out of the 10 times I try to get to a link will give me a blank screen! What's worse is that they don't work weekends so there's no one that I can call to get the site back online! GRRRR..!!!

I have finally completed one of the six projects that I have to finish. Somehow things are getting slower, well actually, I am getting slower. It took me about 19 days to complete one assignment when it normally takes 2 weeks before.... I am tired, both physically and mentally, that's all I can think of as an excuse.

I have been trying to get away for a few hours for the past few weekend to just be by myself, maybe go for a massage or something like that but somehow, it just doesn't seem to materialise. Sigh. Last weekend was spent arranging furniture, well, beds to be exact. Sam has decided that he prefers to sleep in our bed as opposed to his cot. Since our bed isn't exactly the Queen Mary II, we have moved a single bed to act as an extension to our bed. It's very much more spacious and the possibility of any of us falling off the bed is next to zero :)

Will be attempting my next project tomorrow, too tired to think about my projects for now, have this splitting headache which I hope will go away after my sleep. Guess I'd better get some sleep now. Later.

I wanted to continue working on my project but somehow my mind is a blank. I just cannot focus on anything that is study related now, sigh.... the stress of it all. I'm really glad that this will be my last semester though I don't know if it was a good idea to cram three modules into one semester what with all my awake-time spent with Sam and my twilight hours dwindling to two/three hours now instead of the four/five hours that I used to be able to clock. I attribute that to old age (after all I am two years older than when I started my course) and accumulated sleep-debt, two-years' worth!

Sam
He's the light of my life and he's the cutest baby ever. He's my son, of course I'll say that... haha. He'll be eighteen months in May! How time flies. I can still remember the days and nights when he drove us crazy when he was just a little baby. But I guess if it weren't for him, our lives would be very boring now. He's learning to talk now and rambles on from morning to night! His vocab has passed the 100-words count and he's still picking up lots more. It's fascinating to watch him grow up, and it's comforting to know that we played a part in his wonderful development.


Well, that's all from me for now, think I'll retire for the night, at least that will help reduce further sleep-debt. cheers.

I think Singaporeans are a spoilt lot! Why? Well, today our lecturer gave us a two-week extension to our project which was supposed to be due duh.. today! Three weeks!! That's how long we had to do it and yet, some of us...couldn't finish it. I wonder what would happen if their time was up, I mean seriously, would they say to God, "Would you give me another couple of weeks please? I didn't have time to finish my life, too busy la"

Jeez! These people are spoilt!! Completely molly-coddled by the Government in everything they do - they have incentives for everything and I mean everything! Incentives to start a business, incentives to be entrepreneural, incentives to venture out of the country to invest, incentives to get married, and lately... even incentives to get a baby!! How more spoilt can a nation get?

I'm just rambling.. didn't have a good day today. Good nite.

I haven't been blogging for awhile now. Busy as usual. Can't understand why I just can't seem to keep up with the laundry, both the washing and the folding parts!! They seem to have overcome me! I've now 3 loads of wash - 2 loads of clothes and 1 load of sheets - all waiting to be folded and I just did another load of wash this morning! Maybe I'm losing my touch, or maybe it's just this assignment that's got me pretty perplexed. No matter how hard I try, this case study is really mind-boggling. There's so many parts to it that I don't know where to start and worse, I don't know how to put them all down in words. Seems like this will be a long semester!!

By the way, my results for last semester are out and I got another 2 distinctions. Yeaaa... for me! At least all that hard work and sleepless nights were worth it.

Yawn..... looks like it's time for me to get back to doing my assignment.

Nat's Corner

I wanted to blog sooner but with exams and just a short week's break and my PC crashing in between starting the new semester and all, I was just too exhausted.

I have just completed 6 continuous days of classes!! That's a record! The timetable was not scheduled well this round and we had a really rough time juggling Sam's care and Kelv's work timetable. But this being my last semester, we, that's Kelv and I, have decided to just sacrifice a bit more and endure all the stress for the next three months. Hopefully, we will survive!

I must say that I am really lucky to have his support and encouragement, something I really cannot do without. On days when I feel really stupid, sad or just plain exhausted, Kelv has always been around to lift my spirit, encourage, comfort and just hug me if I need it. If I sound all mushy, it's only because I love him. I am the luckiest girl in the world and I'm glad that I know it.

Nat's Corner
My courses for this semester are finally over but I've got to prepare for the exams next week. It will be more hard work before I get my well deserved two-week break. Third year is really no joke, everything is much tougher. Loads of projects to complete and all my modules seem to be getting much more complicated. Maybe I'm losing my touch, maybe all these months of lost sleep has finally caught up with me, maybe...

Just in case you're wondering, Sammy's fingers are healing, thank God. He's also getting to be very active now that he can toddle around the house. Sometimes I get so very tired just trying to catch up with him. One second he'll be in the living room and the next in the kitchen or bedroom! Wish I can tie him up or something. (That's tiredness talking!)

Oh, yesterday was Valentine's Day and I had classes in the afternoon(!), yes can't believe it myself, it was smack right in the middle of the day from 2 - 5 pm! I bought a small bunch of flowers for Kelvin, inspired by my classmate's husband's thoughtfulness ... the chap was so sweet - came to pick her up and had flowers for her too!! Sigh.... the romance.

Anyway, Kelv was tickled by the flowers I got him and we decided to do something a little special, but didn't want to spend a bomb on expensive dinners at restaurants, so we ended up at the beach with take-away dinners. The beach was crowded, don't know if it was because it was V-day or if that was normally how it was. Whatever it was, we didn't let that spoil our night, we found a nice spot near the waves, parked ourselves on the grass, laid out the ground sheet and 'picnicked'! Little Sam enjoyed himself very much munching on his apple and stealing bits of our dinner. That was followed by a long, slow walk by the beach. It was indeed different from our usual V-day celebration but it was wonderful. Hope you had an enjoyable one too.

Well, I gotta go study for my exams now. Cheers all.

Have you heard anything more inspiring or motivating than this? In my weak moments I count myself lucky to have chanced upon Rudyard Kipling's poem 'If'. It set my thinking straight.. well at least a little better, Kipling's 'If' is a good example of what living is about - integrity and behaviour. God is certainly gracious to me as He has led me to this poem in my hour of need, Kipling's poem is truly inspiring.

I leave you with this, may it inspire you as much as it did me.


'If' by rudyard kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Have you had one of those days where you feel like you're at the top of the world? Well, this is definitely not one of those days for me.

I always wondered where my mother got the energy to go on with her marriage life with three kids and a very unsupportive husband! Some days I can hardly go on... even with a supportive (??) husband and only ONE kid! How did she do it?

I've been feeling really down these few days... maybe it's the stress of all the projects that I was rushing for and the knowledge that I didn't do a good job this time round due to the CNY holidays and my visit back to my hometown. The visit was great, it was wonderful seeing all my loved ones back home but it cost me - big time! I did not have sufficient time to hand in quality work for my individual projects and now I'm regretting it.... and feeling really guilty about not spending enough time on my work. How do I get over this feeling? Maybe it's just me... being a perfectionist does not help, at all.

Sammy got burnt a couple of days back. I left him with his daddy for less than five minutes and he got scalded by the iron during that short time! How did it happen? I really cannot comprehend it! Being angry does not help coz it's over now but somehow it makes it very difficult for me to trust Kelvin when he's alone with Sammy anymore. This certainly does not help my paranoia. I just cannot understand how it is possible for him to not be able to care for a little baby for a few hours without bungling it! Isn't there some maternal or in this case, paternal instinct to want to protect your little one from harm!?! The list, so far, has gone from forgetting Sammy's feed (a few times mind you!), over-tiring the little one by bringing him out the whole day and missing his nap times to now this incident with the iron.

I know, I know, some things just aren't supposed to be done by men, this I have been told many times, but hey, it's not fair to keep saying this over and over and say that they should be excused for everything just because of their sex! I was not brought up to look after kids, neither was I taught to look after infants nor babies but I learnt, by hook or by crook I learnt! It took a tremendous amount of reading but I managed, and whatever I learnt, I taught him. So you see there was a transfer of knowledge here. I shared everything I knew with him, so why can't he do it? Sometimes I get the feeling that he just doesn't bother to try and that is what saddens me most.

Just needed to get this off my chest...

What a hectic new year this has been! I have been having classes and project meetings nearly every other day and haven't had time to even breathe! We've four projects and two presentations to tackle this round in a short period of six weeks and I'm really feeling pressurised. All these late nights of slogging on my projects are really taking its toll, been suffering from headaches lately..... It just doesn't seem to go away. Any cure for headaches anyone?