All the long nights have taken its toll on me. I am officially 'pooped'. I'm so tired that I'm running on auto now. I don't think I can even think clearly anymore. If you're wondering what I'm doing blogging and not catching some zzz it's because I know that the little one will be up soon. I tried catching some zzz earlier but the minute my head hit the pillow, the wailing started. Guess I'm not meant to rest.
What have I been doing? Let's see, I just finished washing the dishes and some pots that I used to make my 'anti-wind' drink (I am still on confinement, you know). My mom had to leave early due to passport issue - can't overstay or she'll be in trouble. So poor me had to prepare all the confinement drink and food myself. For lunch, I cheated, I had eggplant pasta, which tasted quite nice actually. It was my first time doing it, copied the recipe from Rachel Ray show.
Did the laundry this morning, then I cleaned and re-organised the kitchen a little bit - this is where my OCB (obsessive compulsive behaviour) takes over, couldn't stand seeing my kitchen in a mess. Tidied the house a bit too. I know, I know, leave till later..but nobody's gonna help me do them so I might as well do it now.
Tried to get Kelv to help, sadly.. his idea of helping is confined to doing the dishes after dinner and washing some bottles only, citing tiredness after work as a reason. I guess I should have cited the same reasons and gotten a maid to do our chores instead of doing it all myself all these years! Stupid me.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Week 3: Blocked ducts & flash cards
On a good day, I’m able to express (breastmilk) something like sixty to seventy mls for each session. On a not so good day, only 30 to 40 mls, it all depends on how tired or stressed I am. I just encountered something even worse than sore or cracked nipples, it’s blocked ducts. It’s really a bummer cos you’d have to go to the clinic and have them unblock it for you, …with a sterilized needle!! OUCH! ….. I unblocked mine myself ..
I’m happy to say that my breastfeeding efforts have resulted in a thriving baby. Matt is now 500 gm heavier than when he first came out. He still sleeps a lot, that’s what babies do but his wakefulness has increased. However, we have to help him set his internal clock coz he tends to want stay up at around 2-5 pm which is fine, and at around midnight, which is definitely not! I lost about 2 nights’ sleep already, got to engage him more in the afternoons to tire him out so that he will sleep more at night. I did some basic coloured RBW flash card with him this afternoon to stimulate his visual developments and my mom said I was mad. I know, old people sometimes need to be updated on all these new information that we now have but sometimes they just don’t know how accept these information and they end up with negative comments.
Did I mention that she was against me breastfeeding Matthew and kept on bugging me to get formula feed for baby Matt? I got really mad with her coz her constant nagging was really disturbing me emotionally and that, on top of my tiredness affected my milk production as well. I had to tell her to zip it, don’t think she was happy about it but I had no choice, no amount of reasoning worked with her. She was so afraid that I’d have no milk and would starve my own baby. Weird. Oh well, everything between us is fine now. Lucky she’s not the kind to keep a grudge.
I’m happy to say that my breastfeeding efforts have resulted in a thriving baby. Matt is now 500 gm heavier than when he first came out. He still sleeps a lot, that’s what babies do but his wakefulness has increased. However, we have to help him set his internal clock coz he tends to want stay up at around 2-5 pm which is fine, and at around midnight, which is definitely not! I lost about 2 nights’ sleep already, got to engage him more in the afternoons to tire him out so that he will sleep more at night. I did some basic coloured RBW flash card with him this afternoon to stimulate his visual developments and my mom said I was mad. I know, old people sometimes need to be updated on all these new information that we now have but sometimes they just don’t know how accept these information and they end up with negative comments.
Did I mention that she was against me breastfeeding Matthew and kept on bugging me to get formula feed for baby Matt? I got really mad with her coz her constant nagging was really disturbing me emotionally and that, on top of my tiredness affected my milk production as well. I had to tell her to zip it, don’t think she was happy about it but I had no choice, no amount of reasoning worked with her. She was so afraid that I’d have no milk and would starve my own baby. Weird. Oh well, everything between us is fine now. Lucky she’s not the kind to keep a grudge.
Friday, December 05, 2008
Breastfeeding
You know how the nurses sell breastfeeding to new mothers? They say that that’s the best gift for your baby, there’ll be no need to wash and sterilize bottles and best of all, you save money on all the formula feeds you don’t have to buy.
BUT, they conveniently ‘forget’ to mention that breastfeeding comes with lots of pains: sore and cracked nipples, engorgements, mastitis, constant feeding during the day and more night feeds (as breastmilk gets digested quicker).
After 2 weeks of pumping and breastfeeding, my breasts are sore. I’ve passed the cracked stage, they are now in the healing stage but the soreness remains. Somehow, with Matt falling asleep at the breast so often, it’s hard to establish a proper milk supply as what is produced will be what he takes.
When I started breastfeeding, I was so stressed (wondering why no/little milk) and tired (from all the feeding and night feeds) that was not good. Stress = no milk. Tired = no milk. Moral of the story, don’t get too stressed and rest well. I decided to not stress myself and got a tin of formula feed just in case I run out of milk. That helped a lot, the stress level dipped and milk was flowing again.. thinking back, it could also be that milk was more or less coming in after the initial few days.
Constantly worrying about how much milk your baby is taking in can make you go mad, so I express my breastmilk and feed it to my little one with a bottle. I just make sure I label the date and time correctly, especially important if you have plenty of milk. Just remember the golden rule of “first-in, first-out”.
BUT, they conveniently ‘forget’ to mention that breastfeeding comes with lots of pains: sore and cracked nipples, engorgements, mastitis, constant feeding during the day and more night feeds (as breastmilk gets digested quicker).
After 2 weeks of pumping and breastfeeding, my breasts are sore. I’ve passed the cracked stage, they are now in the healing stage but the soreness remains. Somehow, with Matt falling asleep at the breast so often, it’s hard to establish a proper milk supply as what is produced will be what he takes.
When I started breastfeeding, I was so stressed (wondering why no/little milk) and tired (from all the feeding and night feeds) that was not good. Stress = no milk. Tired = no milk. Moral of the story, don’t get too stressed and rest well. I decided to not stress myself and got a tin of formula feed just in case I run out of milk. That helped a lot, the stress level dipped and milk was flowing again.. thinking back, it could also be that milk was more or less coming in after the initial few days.
Constantly worrying about how much milk your baby is taking in can make you go mad, so I express my breastmilk and feed it to my little one with a bottle. I just make sure I label the date and time correctly, especially important if you have plenty of milk. Just remember the golden rule of “first-in, first-out”.
After-school care
I just started my maternity leave about 2 weeks back, 4 months of maternity leave. I know this is not very long compared to countries like Switzerland, Sweden etc. but in Asia, 4 months is really good. I’m half hearted about going back to work as we couldn’t find a good after-school care centre for Sam. The quality of after-school care here really is in a sad state. There are many of them around, just that they are lacking when it comes to preparing having a healthy schedule and healthy food for the children they look after. I’ve been to 2 after care centers and they either serve unhealthy oil-laden food or junk food (like Mc Donald’s meal) to the children! Also, the biggest chain of after-school care center seems to focus too much on academic. A day for the children in this particular after-school care center goes like this:
- Arrives at centre
- Bath
- Lunch
- Homework
- Maths/English/Chinese tuition
- Worksheets (on what else - Maths/English/Chinese!)
- TV while waiting for parents
They take monthly tests and the center pits the children who are in the same level against each other ie. they compete for top place in the centre. Shucks, this is like going for another school session after the first school session ends! It’s almost ridiculous. I’m still looking for a suitable after-school care center for Sam, hopefully, I’ll find one soon.
Mother-in-law
Did I mention that Matthew’s birthdate is the same as my mother-in-law’s? Sigh of all dates… Well, she didn’t even bother to visit me or baby Matt in the hospital, in fact she didn’t visit us at all until a week later. That’s my mil.
I have colleagues who came all the way from Jurong (in a cab!) just to visit me in the hospital the day after Matt was born. They skipped lunch, had a rushed visit, but they came, and they are just colleagues.
I envy all my friends who have wonderful mil’s who cook and sometimes clean for them! If mine had her way, she’d get me to cook and clean for her, I’m not kidding, she actually voiced out the ‘cooking for her’ part a few years back. That was back when I was cooking every night. She wanted to move to somewhere near us so that she can come over for dinner! Somehow she’s got it backwards, harlo!... It’s the parents that supposed to cook for the kids to come home to not the other way around.
Anyway, back to the visit. My mil came over on the 8th day after Matt was born, came in and the first thing she did was comment on the confinement food that my mom had prepared for me. I really don’t like people to make comments when they don’t even bother to help out in the first place. Then she went to see baby Matt who was sleeping in his cot and talked very loudly in the room, on purpose? I really don't know.. maybe old age deafness setting in. She then came back out since baby Matt didn’t wake up (thank God!) and talked to Sam and Kelv and worst part of all she made sarcastic remarks about me to Sam who’s all of 6 years old!! Sam didn’t catch it naturally but I'm sure she's okay with that cos it was meant to offend me. Can you believe that woman? She continued with her chatter and in the 45 minutes that she was in my home, she did not once ask me how I was. Yes, that’s my mil.
I have colleagues who came all the way from Jurong (in a cab!) just to visit me in the hospital the day after Matt was born. They skipped lunch, had a rushed visit, but they came, and they are just colleagues.
I envy all my friends who have wonderful mil’s who cook and sometimes clean for them! If mine had her way, she’d get me to cook and clean for her, I’m not kidding, she actually voiced out the ‘cooking for her’ part a few years back. That was back when I was cooking every night. She wanted to move to somewhere near us so that she can come over for dinner! Somehow she’s got it backwards, harlo!... It’s the parents that supposed to cook for the kids to come home to not the other way around.
Anyway, back to the visit. My mil came over on the 8th day after Matt was born, came in and the first thing she did was comment on the confinement food that my mom had prepared for me. I really don’t like people to make comments when they don’t even bother to help out in the first place. Then she went to see baby Matt who was sleeping in his cot and talked very loudly in the room, on purpose? I really don't know.. maybe old age deafness setting in. She then came back out since baby Matt didn’t wake up (thank God!) and talked to Sam and Kelv and worst part of all she made sarcastic remarks about me to Sam who’s all of 6 years old!! Sam didn’t catch it naturally but I'm sure she's okay with that cos it was meant to offend me. Can you believe that woman? She continued with her chatter and in the 45 minutes that she was in my home, she did not once ask me how I was. Yes, that’s my mil.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
My little Matthew
Day 2 of Matt's life in this world.
I love this shot, he looks so cute here!
I look so tired here don't I? Didn't get much sleep coz the lady in the bed opposite me had her screaming baby with her throughout the night! Guess she was breastfeeding, I didn't know newborn or day old babies could be so loud!
Ade with Matthew. He must be wondering who this strange lady carrying him is, hehe..
Preggie me
Here's a pic of me while preggie. Was attending a friend's wedding dinner. Sam stole the photographer's attention with his pose. Isn't he adorable?
My 2008
This has been an eventful year. I took up violin lessons, learnt how to Salsa, did a short certificate course in Advanced Certificate in Training, got promoted and oh ya, got pregnant too!
Violin
Ever since I was a kid I’ve loved the sound the violin makes but since we come from a family where my mom was the sole breadwinner, almost all of what was earned went to necessities, especially since we had 3 cousins living with us (they were abandoned by their divorced parents… it’s a long story).
After pondering for about a month or two, I decided I would take up the violin, doesn’t matter if I’m too old or not, at least I had tried. All I needed to do was practice it slowly if I couldn’t catch on.. right? Wrong! My teacher thought I progressed pretty well and encouraged me to sign up for the Grade 1 exam and I did. Preparing for the exam was the worst time of my life especially when I got pregnant, standing for hours practicing was tiring and I nearly gave up! I also had to overcome the tiredness of being pregnant.
The first trimester of pregnancy was a disaster for my violin practices as I was tired almost every night when I came home from work. Weekends were spent catching up on housework and then resting. Second trimester was better; I felt less tired and could practice more. It was not until the bump got bigger that I started having backaches and thus had to rest more. But all in all, I managed to stick to it, practiced like crazy and pull through the exam, even pass with Merit too!
Salsa
I organized Salsa Beginners’ lessons at work for my staff as one of the recreation activities. It was fun! I loved learning to dance and it was good exercise for me too since I didn’t get much exercises apart from walking to and back from the MRT station everyday. I started to Salsa when I was about 2 ½ months pregnant and stopped when I was 5 ½ months coz my bump was getting too big and in the way to dance with a partner. Salsa was fun, maybe I will continue when baby Matt is older and hopefully when I have more time on my hands.
Advanced Certificate in Training
I had to do 6 modules of this course, each came with 3 project works and an assessment at the end of the module. The modules were taxing but the projects were worse, course participants were given very short timeline to finish them and that meant I had to work late into the nights which caused me to be even more tired. I nearly wanted to give up but persevered as having the certification would really help my career.
Preggie
Kelv and I thought it’d be nice for Sam to have company in case we pass on, you know, so that he won’t be lonely. Our plan was to try for a baby by end of this year at the latest, else we’d give up. Since nothing happened by March, at least that’s what we thought, we were more or less resigned to the fact that Sam would be an only child. But God is wonderful and as usual surprised us with a beautiful gift of a baby. Sam was excited when we told him that he’d be having a baby brother.
I was so excited but scared at the same time as after all, I am six years older than when I had Sam, so many “what ifs” filled my head. I had to pray for strength to keep all the negative thoughts out of my head. The pregnancy was a roller coaster ride, there were days when I was in high spirits, and there were days when I’d be down! Apart from constant tiredness, backaches and moodiness, I was stressed because the chores around the house needed to be done and Sam needed to be looked after too. I constantly felt guilty because I could not spend more quality time with Sam as I was always tired by the time I finish all the daily chores. I felt bad not being able to hug him tightly because of the bump. Somehow, the process of having a sibling didn’t turn out like how he pictured it I guess.
Well, after 38 weeks, baby Matthew was finally ready to meet the world. My contractions came at around 1.30 am in the morning. Thinking that this being the second baby, he’s come out faster than the first, we decided to go to the hospital at around 4 am when the contractions got closer to each other. It was kind of a bad move coz the contractions stopped the moment we reached the hospital. The nurses were in a hurry to put me on the bed and strap me down with CTGs, etc., at 8 am, they couldn’t wait any longer and told me to get my butt on the bed. I hated being on the bed and I really didn’t like the part where I wanted to go the loo and was told that I CANNOT do so and was offered the bedpan instead. WHAT? What’s going on here? Are they mad? I protested but lost. I laid in bed for the next 6 hours, bored. The contractions got stronger around 2 pm and by 4 pm I really felt like I needed some painkillers, but seeing how I had decided against epidural (ya, I’m afraid of the needle in the spine thingy!) there wasn’t much relief for me.
I told the nurses how my dilation jumped from 4 cm to 10 cm in less than an hour for my first delivery and they didn’t believe me. At four they said I was 5 cm dilated, somehow I was sure they got it wrong coz I was ready to push the baby out then, my contractions were coming on strong and close. At 4.30 pm I asked for them to call my gynae, they told me that it won’t be so soon. But when the doctor on duty came to check on me I was fully dilated!! I was pretty pissed then that they had not listened to me. By then the pain was excruciating and I was pretty sure I’d push the baby out before my gynae arrives (they told me not to push!). Trying to keep the baby in when all your natural bodily instinct is screaming for you to push him out was really difficult and PAINFUL. By 5 pm I was too tired to hold him in any longer and was determined to get him out with or without my gynae! Lucky for her, she came thru the door at 5 sharp. I was relieved to see her and pushed like crazy. Baby Matthew came into the world after 3 pushes! That’s how desperate I was to get him out. I was so relieved and sore all over. My whole body shook partly because I just realized how cold the delivery room was and partly because I had had nothing to eat for the whole day and was very hungry and tired too.
Holding baby Matt for the very first time was incredible,it was like holding a miracle! My life is now complete.
Violin
Ever since I was a kid I’ve loved the sound the violin makes but since we come from a family where my mom was the sole breadwinner, almost all of what was earned went to necessities, especially since we had 3 cousins living with us (they were abandoned by their divorced parents… it’s a long story).
After pondering for about a month or two, I decided I would take up the violin, doesn’t matter if I’m too old or not, at least I had tried. All I needed to do was practice it slowly if I couldn’t catch on.. right? Wrong! My teacher thought I progressed pretty well and encouraged me to sign up for the Grade 1 exam and I did. Preparing for the exam was the worst time of my life especially when I got pregnant, standing for hours practicing was tiring and I nearly gave up! I also had to overcome the tiredness of being pregnant.
The first trimester of pregnancy was a disaster for my violin practices as I was tired almost every night when I came home from work. Weekends were spent catching up on housework and then resting. Second trimester was better; I felt less tired and could practice more. It was not until the bump got bigger that I started having backaches and thus had to rest more. But all in all, I managed to stick to it, practiced like crazy and pull through the exam, even pass with Merit too!
Salsa
I organized Salsa Beginners’ lessons at work for my staff as one of the recreation activities. It was fun! I loved learning to dance and it was good exercise for me too since I didn’t get much exercises apart from walking to and back from the MRT station everyday. I started to Salsa when I was about 2 ½ months pregnant and stopped when I was 5 ½ months coz my bump was getting too big and in the way to dance with a partner. Salsa was fun, maybe I will continue when baby Matt is older and hopefully when I have more time on my hands.
Advanced Certificate in Training
I had to do 6 modules of this course, each came with 3 project works and an assessment at the end of the module. The modules were taxing but the projects were worse, course participants were given very short timeline to finish them and that meant I had to work late into the nights which caused me to be even more tired. I nearly wanted to give up but persevered as having the certification would really help my career.
Preggie
Kelv and I thought it’d be nice for Sam to have company in case we pass on, you know, so that he won’t be lonely. Our plan was to try for a baby by end of this year at the latest, else we’d give up. Since nothing happened by March, at least that’s what we thought, we were more or less resigned to the fact that Sam would be an only child. But God is wonderful and as usual surprised us with a beautiful gift of a baby. Sam was excited when we told him that he’d be having a baby brother.
I was so excited but scared at the same time as after all, I am six years older than when I had Sam, so many “what ifs” filled my head. I had to pray for strength to keep all the negative thoughts out of my head. The pregnancy was a roller coaster ride, there were days when I was in high spirits, and there were days when I’d be down! Apart from constant tiredness, backaches and moodiness, I was stressed because the chores around the house needed to be done and Sam needed to be looked after too. I constantly felt guilty because I could not spend more quality time with Sam as I was always tired by the time I finish all the daily chores. I felt bad not being able to hug him tightly because of the bump. Somehow, the process of having a sibling didn’t turn out like how he pictured it I guess.
Well, after 38 weeks, baby Matthew was finally ready to meet the world. My contractions came at around 1.30 am in the morning. Thinking that this being the second baby, he’s come out faster than the first, we decided to go to the hospital at around 4 am when the contractions got closer to each other. It was kind of a bad move coz the contractions stopped the moment we reached the hospital. The nurses were in a hurry to put me on the bed and strap me down with CTGs, etc., at 8 am, they couldn’t wait any longer and told me to get my butt on the bed. I hated being on the bed and I really didn’t like the part where I wanted to go the loo and was told that I CANNOT do so and was offered the bedpan instead. WHAT? What’s going on here? Are they mad? I protested but lost. I laid in bed for the next 6 hours, bored. The contractions got stronger around 2 pm and by 4 pm I really felt like I needed some painkillers, but seeing how I had decided against epidural (ya, I’m afraid of the needle in the spine thingy!) there wasn’t much relief for me.
I told the nurses how my dilation jumped from 4 cm to 10 cm in less than an hour for my first delivery and they didn’t believe me. At four they said I was 5 cm dilated, somehow I was sure they got it wrong coz I was ready to push the baby out then, my contractions were coming on strong and close. At 4.30 pm I asked for them to call my gynae, they told me that it won’t be so soon. But when the doctor on duty came to check on me I was fully dilated!! I was pretty pissed then that they had not listened to me. By then the pain was excruciating and I was pretty sure I’d push the baby out before my gynae arrives (they told me not to push!). Trying to keep the baby in when all your natural bodily instinct is screaming for you to push him out was really difficult and PAINFUL. By 5 pm I was too tired to hold him in any longer and was determined to get him out with or without my gynae! Lucky for her, she came thru the door at 5 sharp. I was relieved to see her and pushed like crazy. Baby Matthew came into the world after 3 pushes! That’s how desperate I was to get him out. I was so relieved and sore all over. My whole body shook partly because I just realized how cold the delivery room was and partly because I had had nothing to eat for the whole day and was very hungry and tired too.
Holding baby Matt for the very first time was incredible,it was like holding a miracle! My life is now complete.
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