Nat's Corner
My courses for this semester are finally over but I've got to prepare for the exams next week. It will be more hard work before I get my well deserved two-week break. Third year is really no joke, everything is much tougher. Loads of projects to complete and all my modules seem to be getting much more complicated. Maybe I'm losing my touch, maybe all these months of lost sleep has finally caught up with me, maybe...

Just in case you're wondering, Sammy's fingers are healing, thank God. He's also getting to be very active now that he can toddle around the house. Sometimes I get so very tired just trying to catch up with him. One second he'll be in the living room and the next in the kitchen or bedroom! Wish I can tie him up or something. (That's tiredness talking!)

Oh, yesterday was Valentine's Day and I had classes in the afternoon(!), yes can't believe it myself, it was smack right in the middle of the day from 2 - 5 pm! I bought a small bunch of flowers for Kelvin, inspired by my classmate's husband's thoughtfulness ... the chap was so sweet - came to pick her up and had flowers for her too!! Sigh.... the romance.

Anyway, Kelv was tickled by the flowers I got him and we decided to do something a little special, but didn't want to spend a bomb on expensive dinners at restaurants, so we ended up at the beach with take-away dinners. The beach was crowded, don't know if it was because it was V-day or if that was normally how it was. Whatever it was, we didn't let that spoil our night, we found a nice spot near the waves, parked ourselves on the grass, laid out the ground sheet and 'picnicked'! Little Sam enjoyed himself very much munching on his apple and stealing bits of our dinner. That was followed by a long, slow walk by the beach. It was indeed different from our usual V-day celebration but it was wonderful. Hope you had an enjoyable one too.

Well, I gotta go study for my exams now. Cheers all.

Have you heard anything more inspiring or motivating than this? In my weak moments I count myself lucky to have chanced upon Rudyard Kipling's poem 'If'. It set my thinking straight.. well at least a little better, Kipling's 'If' is a good example of what living is about - integrity and behaviour. God is certainly gracious to me as He has led me to this poem in my hour of need, Kipling's poem is truly inspiring.

I leave you with this, may it inspire you as much as it did me.


'If' by rudyard kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Have you had one of those days where you feel like you're at the top of the world? Well, this is definitely not one of those days for me.

I always wondered where my mother got the energy to go on with her marriage life with three kids and a very unsupportive husband! Some days I can hardly go on... even with a supportive (??) husband and only ONE kid! How did she do it?

I've been feeling really down these few days... maybe it's the stress of all the projects that I was rushing for and the knowledge that I didn't do a good job this time round due to the CNY holidays and my visit back to my hometown. The visit was great, it was wonderful seeing all my loved ones back home but it cost me - big time! I did not have sufficient time to hand in quality work for my individual projects and now I'm regretting it.... and feeling really guilty about not spending enough time on my work. How do I get over this feeling? Maybe it's just me... being a perfectionist does not help, at all.

Sammy got burnt a couple of days back. I left him with his daddy for less than five minutes and he got scalded by the iron during that short time! How did it happen? I really cannot comprehend it! Being angry does not help coz it's over now but somehow it makes it very difficult for me to trust Kelvin when he's alone with Sammy anymore. This certainly does not help my paranoia. I just cannot understand how it is possible for him to not be able to care for a little baby for a few hours without bungling it! Isn't there some maternal or in this case, paternal instinct to want to protect your little one from harm!?! The list, so far, has gone from forgetting Sammy's feed (a few times mind you!), over-tiring the little one by bringing him out the whole day and missing his nap times to now this incident with the iron.

I know, I know, some things just aren't supposed to be done by men, this I have been told many times, but hey, it's not fair to keep saying this over and over and say that they should be excused for everything just because of their sex! I was not brought up to look after kids, neither was I taught to look after infants nor babies but I learnt, by hook or by crook I learnt! It took a tremendous amount of reading but I managed, and whatever I learnt, I taught him. So you see there was a transfer of knowledge here. I shared everything I knew with him, so why can't he do it? Sometimes I get the feeling that he just doesn't bother to try and that is what saddens me most.

Just needed to get this off my chest...