Here's Sam with his 'EE' Ama. 'EE' is what kids call their aunties as a sign of respect. My sis came for a short visit and Sam really bonded with her. He was so sad that she had to go back and kept asking for her long after she had left Singapore. He'll ask 'mommy, where's EE?' every other day and I'd have to remind him that she's gone back home and will visit us soon... I hope. Ama is always so busy. 

Here's the local mint plant, if you have a cough and want to get rid of it in a jiff, just boil the leaves in water and drink it up. Works like a charm.

This beautiful plant is the curry plant. The leaves are used in curry dishes where they lend their wonderful curry aroma to the whatever dish is being cooked, and they are really high in iron too!

This is my chilli plant. It's actually the smaller but more potent version of the normal chilli. Locals call it 'chilli padi', one bite of this is enough to blow you away! Seriously! 

Have I mentioned my little garden, actually there's not much space for a garden when you're living in a flat but I've dedicated a little corner in my kitchen for some plants. Here's my aloevera plant, as you can see they're all growing sideways trying to get to the window so that they can get the sunlight. 

Nervousness..

Now that I've signed the employment letter, I'm feeling a little nervous. A lot of 'what if's have popped into my head, like... what if I miss Sam too terribly, what if I cannot adjust going back to work, what if I find out that I don't like to work anymore after nearly 2 years of not working? I'm petrified and I think I've just scared myself again...

JOB!

I was offered a job today, remember the interview I went to last Friday, yup, got it! Finally, yippee.....

providing for someone

How do you provide for someone when you don't have a job? I feel so helpless, almost useless, for not being able to secure a job. I think I will go mad soon thinking about this. The past months have been stressful on me as I started to look around for a job and found that most companies would not hire a mom with a young child just because they think that we 'would not be commited enough to the company'. Now where in the world do they get ideas like that? If any, we'd be most stable and committed to the job as that would be our source of income - our avenue for a better life for our child(ren). Sigh... just needed to get things off my chest.

my aspirations..

I went for a job interview last Friday and I was asked to write about myself and my aspirations. The part on myself was easy, but my aspirations, now that really made me think! I mean, what did I want to do in life? It was easier when I was younger, I can still remember.

At 12, I wanted to be a stewardess so that I can get to travel to all the different countries and still get paid doing it!
At 16, I wanted to be a lawyer coz I always wanted to win in all my quarrels with my sister!
At 18, when I started work with nothing more than an O level certificate to my name, all I wanted to be was RESPECTED.
At 21, I couldn't care less what I wanted to be, I was just happy to be me and spending my time with my friends.
At 25, I just wanted to get my degree!

Now at 32 with a degree and a son in hand, I just don't know what it is that I want... well, actually, I guess I do know, I just want to be a good mother to Sam, I want to be able to spend time with him, be a friend for him when he needs one, a shoulder for him when he cries and at the same time just be a mom for him when he needs love, support and understanding. My mother is the best role model, always there for us when we needed her and always putting our needs before hers. I know what I want to be, I want to be just like my mother!

Playschool

Today was Sam's 4th day in his playgroup at the YWCA centre. The experience hasn't been all too good. There are 3 big bullies there who go around slapping, pushing and hitting smaller kids. The teachers seem oblivious to this fact - why? I have no idea. They even insist that one of the bullies (I pointed them out to the teachers, okay, so I'm a teetoteller, who's not!) won't do such things!! Even when it happened in front of them they seem to not 'see' it. How is this possible? Are they so tired of their jobs that they just don't care anymore?

I've decided to just endure the next week since we had to pay for 2 weeks in advance (even though these 2 weeks was supposed to be a trial period!!). I'm gonna be the typical 'pain-in-the-ass' parent who will sit there until Sam's 3 hours is up daily. I'm only doing it because I have no confidence in the teachers, they just ignore the crying children (who are missing their mommies) and focus on the other kids. Somehow, I think that they are -sadly, going about it the wrong way, ignoring the kid will just make him feel moer insecure and unwanted thus the feeling of wanting to go home to mommy is intensified and he will take longer to adjust to the environment. These people don't seem to have a clue about these things, maybe they should take Psychology 101.

Sam says that he doesn't want to go to school because "So scared. Children hit Sam" and "People disturb Sam", those are his own words, from the mouth of a babe! Am I being paranoid here?

my 'little' man

I took a fall early this evening while preparing Sam's bath. I slipped as I stepped out of the bathroom and fell, hitting my arm against the corner of the metal doorframe, ouch! Sam saw the fall and had a concerned look on his face, imagine that. This was the conversation that took place after the fall.

Sam: Is it hot mommy? (Sam associates hot with pain)
Me: No darling, it's just very painful. (sitting on the floor)
Sam: Sammy kiss mommy?
Me: Okay.. (still sitting on the floor)

Sam walks over, steps out of the bathroom carefully and kissed me on my cheeks.

He sees me rubbing my arm and says, "Sam kiss mommy's hand 'k?"
Me: Okay..

Very gently he kisses me on my arm. That's Sam, my little man, so young and so loving.

Sam's developments

Have I mentioned that Sam is speaking in sentences already? His tenses and grammar are coming along really well too. We're so proud of his accomplishment.

At 18 months, he said his longest, almost perfect, sentence comparing the neighbour's clothes with ours, "Aunty hang clothes, mommy hang clothes also. Mommy hang daddy's clothes." He's also so aware of his surroundings, well, maybe I don't have much experience with babies before and so I'm not sure of their level of awareness but what I do know is that Sam will constantly share what he feels, hears and smells with me and it's such a joy to be able to share it with him.

When he catches a smell from the neighbour's cooking he will tell me "Smell mommy, somebody's cooking." and when he hears sounds from the cars or motorbike downstairs, he says, "Sound from motorbike/car, so noisy." But what is even more amazing to me is when he asks me to be careful in his most concern voice when I drive or go down a ramp into the basement of a carpark. He'd normally say "Be careful mommy" or if there are people crossing the road while I'm trying to park, he'd go "Be careful (of) man, mommy." Isn't that just so adorable??

I think I'm the luckiest mom and Sam, the most lovable baby on this planet.

weirdness..

Had lunch with my mil yesterday and she was mentioning about my how sis-in-law’s baby is a ‘healing crystal baby’ sent to ‘bring the family together’… errr where do people get these ideas anyway? I mean seriously, really, seriously! Out of curiosity I searched the web for more info on these ‘crystal children’ that’s she’s been talking about and what I read really scares me. I mean, where do these people get their research from anyway? Do they just go to bed and get up the next day and feel that they could write these things and get away with it? Well, obviously they could and did, with quite a few people ‘buying’ into their ideas. I guess only those really lonely ones or those feeling hopeless would buy into this, no sane person would believe such nonsense.

Here's Sam learning how to handle a knife. We bought him a wooden knife with some wooden foodstuff so that he could practise on them ;) 

Sam had lots of fun here splashing water everywhere and getting wet. The editing of these three pictures didn't turn out as well as I wanted it to be but I guess it will do for now until I improve my skills.... 

Birthdays..

Last weekend my in-laws celebrated another birthday in the family, it was my husband's niece's birthday. The celebration reminded me of my birthday just a couple of months back... which they did not celebrate. My in-laws celebrate everybody's birthdays including their family members' spouses birthdays, all but mine. Was it just an unintentional 'forgotten' date or was it deliberately forgotten. I don't think I will know for sure but I do know that even if they had indeed forgotten about it during the day itself, they could have celebrated it during the weekend immediately after my big day. Well, guess I do know the answer after all. Great way to make someone feel unwelcomed to the family.